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The Daily Wildcat

The Daily Wildcat

 

    The 14-day bucket list

    By the time this article goes to print, there will be exactly two weeks until the start of the 2008 fall semester. Only two weeks to pack in everything else you’ve been meaning to do but haven’t gotten around to. Think of it as your 14-day summer bucket list.

    I’ve created my 14-day summer bucket list. It’s pretty mild, considering the fact that it’s composed of things I’d like to do before summer ends, not before I die. So skydiving, kissing the most beautiful girl in the world and visiting the Pyramid of Giza are not included. Which means making out with the most beautiful girl in the world while skydiving over the Pyramid of Giza is out of the question.

    1. Make a phone solicitor hang up on you.

    Technically, telephone solicitors aren’t allowed to hang up on potential customers. So as long as you don’t cuss or show slight interest in their product when they call, you can torture them to tears. Have them wait while you count your pennies, ask your dog what he thinks or say moo every fourth word. Moo.

    2. Throw a big party.

    You have 14 days until school starts again, which means that your friends who left town for the summer are coming back. Get everyone together and see what the largest human pyramid you can make is. Have everyone at the party talk to the solicitor on the phone. It doesn’t matter what you do; summer isn’t lonely anymore.

    3. Build a sandcastle.

    Even if you don’t visit a beach, you can still build a sandcastle, or at least a dirt castle. The right combination of dirt and water can bring you back to your childhood when you had that kingdom surrounded by a moat to keep enemies out. Or you can act your age and build sand boobs.

    4. Slide down a grassy hill on a block of ice.

    Buy a block of ice (or make one if you’re creative enough) and put a towel over the block. Then sit on your new vehicle, lift your feet and ride down a grassy hill, trying not to crash and roll at the bottom. Get up, brush yourself off and repeat. Oh, and when the doctor asks why your butt is frozen, be creative.

    5. Go skinny-dipping.

    It’s scandalous, risky and cuts seconds off your fastest lap time.

    6. Camp out in your back yard.

    Why spend an outrageous amount of money on gas to pretend you’re homeless? You can do that in your own back yard. Pitch a tent, get bitten by bugs, eat cold sandwiches and don’t worry about bears.

    7. Fly a kite.

    Seriously. If you feel like this is too immature for you, make one that’s a bit more mature. Grab some tissue paper or mylar – the silver hologram paper that’s sometimes used as wrapping paper – and create a dirty image. It’s a bird. It’s a plane. It’s a reproductive organ.

    8. Cool down at the lake.

    What do you mean you didn’t know there was any water in Arizona? With more than two dozen lakes in the state, fishing, boating and water sports are just around the corner. The prettiest: Canyon Lake. Most popular and historical: Lake Havasu, home of the original London Bridge and the hottest boats around.

    9. TP a tree.

    If you can get over the fact that karma will bite you later, this is a blast. Remember: The taller the trees, the bigger the target.

    10. Show up to a random college party dressed as a police officer.

    This would work best if you showed up to a house full of drunk, underage kids who you have no connection with. Bonus points if you’re able to talk to a dispatcher on an official looking two-way radio with your friend on the other end.

    – Lance Madden is a journalism junior. He can be reached at letters@wildcat.arizona.edu.

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