Our society has gone from the belief that Premenstrual Syndrome (PMS) was completely fabricated by women to its classification as a disease. A syndrome, by definition, is something that indicates a disease and America is the only country that classifies the exacerbated effects of menstruation as such. PMS remains a misunderstood concept; something that the novelty website PMSbuddy.com does not want you to openly discuss.
“”Saving relationships, one month at a time!”” is the motto of PMSbuddy.com, a free Web site where you can sign up to receive e-mail updates warning you when your loved ones might be PMSing.
The website’s mission is to “”minimize negative encounters between those with PMS and those close to them by taking away the surprise and making conversations about PMS unnecessary.”” The wording makes women sound like beasts that need to be tiptoed around during “”that time of the month.”” The last thing our society needs is another reason to hush up about an important topic that quite obviously affects everyone.
PMSbuddy.com implies that if you’re having relationship difficulties, it is probably the female in the relationship’s fault. Women can be hormonal and sometimes they can be unladylike and tell you exactly how they feel. Couples and family members should talk about relationship issues, not sweep them under the rug or assume that everything boils down to PMS.
The website is replete with PMS tips and PMS stories. The tips range from buying your woman flowers, wine and lingerie to finding someone else on Match.com. The Web site suggests that women can be placated with stereotypical Valentine gifts, all of which send poor messages to the recipient. Flowers are nice, but they wilt very quickly. Are you trying to say that your love will become a stinky mess before you can think to change the water? Wine and lingerie serve to objectify women. Sure, let’s get you drunk and into some sexy underwear so I can have sex with you (after you’re done with your period, of course). PMSbuddy.com’s male users probably just want to know what time of the month they shouldn’t try to pressure their significant other into having sex. They are probably the same people who subscribe to the belief that it is gross to have sex with a woman while she is on her period.
There is always discomfort when it comes to menstruation, and technically you are not considered to have PMS unless your symptoms interfere with everyday life. It’s no secret that getting your period is a drag. I’m a huge fan of vaginas, but let’s face it, it’s not so fun. Your period comes with cramps, mood swings and not being able to wear those trendy white jeans. Women should be applauded for all the work they have to do just to maintain a good attitude about life. Add it to the list of things that women have to put up with and things that society will ignore talking about. But along with irritability, studies have shown that women have increased sex drive while ovulating, which often comes right before the vagina expels the unfertilized egg, i.e. when you are “”PMSing.”” Clearly, it’s not all bad news for women and the men who want to sleep with them.
An online update about when your girlfriend’s period is coming isn’t going to save your relationship. When a girl’s period might be coming isn’t even that hard to recognize. The Web site claims that both men and women it, but women are way ahead of PMSbuddy.com and have been using a calendar and internal clock for centuries to know when they will receive their period.
While the premise of PMSbuddy.com is ridiculous, the message boards allow people to voice their opinions about PMS and their personal experiences. Message boards are the new community forum of support and I certainly do not discourage people from talking about menstruation and its difficulties. But the entire point of the Web site is to keep it a secret, an anonymous internet catharsis where you can rant about your period but never talk about it with anyone in reality. People should discuss these issues with their loved ones and their friends. People need to stop shying away from confrontation, especially when it comes to discussing something as common as PMS. A silly Web site isn’t the answer; actual discussion is.
– Alexandria Kassman is a creative writing and Spanish senior. She can be reached at letters@wildcat.arizona.edu.
