Why settle for Batman when we have Robbins? I think our university president is amazing for many reasons, not the least of which is that he has actual superpowers. He made this evident during the Zona Zoo pep rally on campus last week.

Just like in any superhero story, it all started with a group of happy, unassuming citizens. On Alumni Plaza, the pep band played songs from their Bruno Mars show, and of course, the classics like “Born to be Wild(cats!).” The Zona Zoo tent gave away not one, but TWO free slices of pizza to anyone who wanted some (me!). Coach Sumlin was taking pictures and getting to know students. It would have been a perfect moment if the temperature wasn’t approaching 300 degrees.

And then (dun dun dun…) “Brother” Dean Saxton’s crew showed up. By this time, the cheerleaders were out dancing to the pep band’s music. When the music stopped, the three men (in ‘Women are slaves’ shirts) started harassing the cheerleaders. 

“Go back to your brothel,” one of them yelled.

The cheerleaders stood there, poised and smiling, not looking at the men. The crowd grew uncomfortable. The cheerleaders weren’t allowed to act, so we wanted to defend them.

One man in a red UA polo tried to get Dean’s crew to stop. “We’re not talking to you,” they yelled at him. A Catholic freshman tried talking to them too, but they shut her down as well, saying “you obviously haven’t read the bible because you’re a spoiled and loud woman!” 

Because of the agitators, the band tried to limit the time they weren’t playing, but every time a song ended, we could hear the insults. 

The situation looked hopeless. But it wasn’t. Somewhere far away, President Dr. Robert Robbins was alerted. No, he didn’t need some kind of bat-signal; he felt the pangs of our distress in the depths of his heart.

He made a grand entrance into the middle of the scene on his incredibly large golf cart, the coolest super-vehicle since the Batmobile. It was equipped with the perfect munitions to disarm Saxton’s group. President Robbins pressed a button, and “Fight, Wildcats Fight” blasted through the speakers. 

Saxton and his cronies didn’t know what to do for almost two minutes. The crowd was elated at the turn of events. Everyone started clapping to the song. President Robbins started talking with the cheerleaders. 

Obviously, at this point Robbins had successfully beaten Dean Saxton. The men tried restarting their yelling, calling to their new target, “how many cheerleaders have you slept with!?” But they didn’t matter anymore. For the moment, the focus was shifted away from them, and everything was good.

I’ve never seen anyone quiet Saxton like Robbins did. But that’s not his only superpower.

Have you seen him on campus? I mean, if you’re ever on campus, you probably have. I have seen him six times already, he’s made time to say hello to me on three occasions, and I’ve heard of his presence in the area probably a dozen times otherwise. 

How could he possibly be so present? Aren’t university presidents really busy with administrative work, fundraising, creating strategic plans for the school and other president-y stuff? I mean, their salary makes me think they must be pretty busy. Our old president always seemed too busy for us students. So, he must have some kind of cloning powers, or time-warping powers. Maybe he has the best power of all—being able to do work really, really fast.

Or possibly, he just has different priorities than our old president. Maybe students on campus are actually really important to him, and he makes it a point that we know it.

It means a lot to me. I love feeling like my school wants more from me than a dollars-for-degree transaction. The most special thing about President Robbins flying in on his golf cart is that he was there, experiencing campus like I experience it. He has made himself part of the university’s community, and he has shown us that a president can be more than a name we vaguely know.

So what if Robbins doesn’t actually have superpowers? Neither does Batman.

Toni Marcheva is a sophomore whose favorite thing about UA is its community. Follow Daily Wildcat on Twitter.