Now, this is for community discussion. Don’t take it personally.

The topic may be offensive to some of you, particularly certain gentlemen, but the point made by the writer is certainly worthwhile.

She e-mailed me about doctors giving husbands erectile dysfunction drugs, such as Viagra, without considering the wife:

“”At 67, with the husband I have, I have been quite happy to have his abilities fade. But now, he’s almost 88, his M.D. sends him home with this prescription.

“”It is humorous, as you can see, an 88-year-old body and a painful (please go to the ER after four hours) erection!

“”And who is to make sure this ER visit never happens? This tired, worn out, dried out, disinterested wife! Borderline abuse!””

The worn out wife would like some sort of community conversation “”to help me see how far off base I am, if I am out of line, and if there are other wives out there that are just as angry as I about these men and their toys.””

So I guess that lays it out for you. Should the wife be part of the ED discussion?

I asked some folks at the American Society on Aging meeting when I was in Chicago. Like the writer of the e-mail, the women made me promise not to identify them.

But here’s what some of them said:

“”You bet she should be part of the conversation. But at the same time, you gotta think this guy is pretty healthy — or has terrific heart, at least.””

Or, “”She should be grateful he still wants to have sex.””

And, “”Men always want to play with their toys. No matter how old they are. Sounds pretty disgusting, frankly.””

That sums up the three general response lines.

So now it’s your turn to give an opinion. And please, please don’t send me something unprintable. Let’s treat this like the social situation it is.

Do husbands ask wives before they ask doctors for ED meds?

Should they?

Should the wife be excused for saying “”no””?

Are there similar medicines to pep up a woman’s libido?

And if you are a husband or wife in these age brackets and you use ED

drugs, how are they working out?

Anyone had to go to the ER? Or take their husband to the ER?

One of the big conversations at the conference in Chicago was the way aging will change as the boomers hit 65. I’m sure the boomers, as they always have, will make a huge difference in future activities and hobbies of the senior set.

At the same time, you must ask yourself, how much better/worse can it get?

Tell me your thoughts at jghaas@cox.net

Meanwhile, here’s the solution advanced by the 67-year-old complaining wife:

“”Makes me wish for legal prostitution, for the European tradition of old codgers having sweet, young mistresses.””