On the spot

In honor of the ASUA primaries today, we talked to political science senior Dustin Cox, vice chair of the ASUA Senate.

Wildcat: OK, you’re on the spot. What issue do you hope will be addressed during this campaign?

Cox: One of the most important issues, I think, is social justice and diversity issues here on campus. And I don’t think they’ve necessarily been addressed in the past. I think that we started to address some of them this year. And hopefully we actually make some more progress next year.

W: OK, if you had to kill one local public figure, who would it be?

C: Wow. Had to, absolutely had to?

W: Yeah. God was sitting up there in a beach suit, and he was forcing you to.

C: Oh my God. I don’t know, well, I can’t actually give an answer to that question because it’s technically illegal.

W: What about maiming them?

C: Still illegal.

W: What about giving them pink eye? That’s not illegal.

C: Oh, I would totally give George Bush pink eye.

W: No, local public figure.

C: I can’t answer that question.

W: What about pinching them a little bit so their skin turns kind of red?

C: I would maybe pinch Tim Bee. He’s the president of the Arizona Senate.

W: Oh, is he a dick?

C: He doesn’t really identify on the issues like I do.

W: What do you think before you go to bed?

C: “”Man, I’m tired.””

W: Do you ever think, “”Lookie me, I’m fame-eee?””

C: Fame-eee, meaning … “”famished?””

W: It’s a version of “”famous.””

C: No, I do say, “”Hey look at me. I’m famished.””

W: Do you say, “”What’s that blue spot?””

C: Occasionally, when I see blue spots.

W: Do you say, “”I gotta run those papers through the electrometer and get back to Hagan about the Fleezon reports.””

C: You know, there was one occasion seven years ago where I did say those exact words.

W: OK, close your eyes. Do you see a red or green giraffe? My friend wanted me to ask this, I have no idea what it means.

C: I see a green one.

W: OK, last question. If you were riding a jellyfish and it bucked you off, would you take shelter in a coral reef, or would you swim up to a boat on the surface, knowing you might drown because the coral reef has air inside of it, and you could swim under there?

C: It has limited air, so I’d probably still drown down there.

W: Try to go up?

C: If I were riding a jellyfish, I probably would die at that point anyway.

– Andi Berlin