What is your definition of “”normal””?

What kind of question is that? The average, I guess.

And what is the average?

What most people are doing.

Yeah, and what are most people doing?

I don’t know just the typical things that people are doing.

Do you consider yourself “”normal””?

Yeah.

What about stereotypes, do you have any?

I’m Asian, so people tend to go off that, and it doesn’t help that I’m a microbiology major … so typical smart, scientific Asian.

Anyways, how do you feel about Kanye West?

Terrible artist. OK, his music sounds good, but he’s not very talented. I like Kid Cudi, cannot wait to download the new album.

How do you feel about Dwayne Carter’s release from prison?

He shoulda’ stayed there.

Would you rather have T.I. out than Wayne?

To be honest, I really could care less. It’s all really a bunch of nonsense. People go to and from jail everyday, there is absolutely no reason to celebrate people paying time for their crime.

How do you feel about gun and weapon control on campus?

It’s good, for protection. Too much violence in today’s day and age, crime is everywhere.

Do you feel it’s OK for students to carry around weapons or leave them in their cars?

Yeah, because anybody who pulls out their gun will get shot immediately, because everyone has guns. There would definitely be fewer crimes.

Don’t you think if there are more weapons there will be more crimes?

No, not at all. Nobody would shoot because they know they would get shot back at.

Are you basing these answers on real life experience?

No, COD (“”Call of Duty””) and other experiences, because in COD you only survive about two shots which takes about an eighth of a second but if you have the Noob Tube, a grenade launcher, you can blow ‘em away in one hit.

Got it. Would you ever let your son or daughter carry around a weapon?

Oh yeah, so they can shoot people that are mean to them. Nobody is messing with little man.

Did you wait in line for the new COD last night?

No, I’m probably going to steal it from Ben Cohodas.

Who is Mr. Cohodas?

He’s this guy. He’s pretty stingy because of his religion.

— Caroline Nachazel