Kansas: Intelligent by design?

The Story: The Kansas Board of Education changed their K-12 science curriculum to eliminate the theory of intelligent design in favor of
evolution.

The Diss: What’s the matter with Kansas? Every election, their board of education swings between teaching science and teaching “”science.”” How can we develop crude stereotypes of Kansans if they won’t make up their minds? At this point the only state it is safe to be bigoted against is Texas. I confess this could be sour grapes: The pro-science change means Arizona probably won’t overtake Kansas in the national education rankings anytime soon. In this year’s “”Smartest State”” report Arizona ranked 50th. The good news is that we didn’t drop any spots from last year, but the bad news is now we have to find another state with education standards as low as ours. We’re gunning for you, Nevada!

– Shane Ham is a first-year law student.

A leap of logic

The Story: General Motors announced it will be cutting the suicide scene from its Super Bowl robot commercial after public outcry from various suicide prevention groups.

The Diss: Ever since the infamous “”1984″” commercial, Super Bowl ads have become synonymous with sensation. And this year, General Motors had all the makings of such an ad: A cute robot, a sappy love song and a controversial bridge jump. It is ridiculous that people have become so upset by it. Suicidal individuals have planned, calculated and dreamt of their impending doom. Such people will not do something just because they witnessed an object jump off a bridge. But okay, suicide prevention groups, you win. While you’re at it, let’s protest the viewing of suicide bombers on the news. It might cause somebody to go blow up his car.

– Jessica Wertz is a senior majoring in family studies and human development and psychology.

There’s clerics in them there hills

The Story: According to two American officials, radical Shiite cleric Moqtada al-Sadr has fled Iraq for Iran due to fears for his safety and the fracturing of his personal militia, the Mahdi Army.

The Diss: While the ties between the Iranian ayatollahs and Sadr’s political movement/militia have never been clean-cut, this is just a bad move. Sadr now not only looks like an Iranian pawn in the eyes of American leaders and Iraqis, but also has essentially branded himself a coward. Perhaps Sadr could have moderated his message, like Grand Ayatollah Ali al-Sistani, another respected Shiite cleric. Perhaps Sadr could have sought a more constructive role in Iraqi political life. Perhaps Sadr could have sought a stable, peaceful Iraq. He chose none of the above. Instead, the United States put on the pressure and Sadr ran for the hills – tail between his legs.

– Matt Stone is a senior majoring in economics and international studies.

Below the belt

The Story: Nobel Prize laureate and Holocaust survivor Elie Wiesel was dragged from a San Francisco elevator Feb. 8 and roughed up by a man whose identity remains a mystery. A poster on an anti-Semitic Web site subsequently claimed responsibility, but no arrests have been made in the case.

The Diss: I’m as jaded a newsreader as they come, but this story made even me feel queasy. Surely the 78-year-old Wiesel, a brilliant writer who has devoted his life to making sure we never forget history’s worst event, has gone through enough without having to put up with this sort of thing. If anything, this story sheds some light on the sheer odiousness of Holocaust deniers. They’re not just harmless cranks, like Pat Buchanan. Many of them are dangerous lunatics (like, well, Pat Buchanan – though he at least hasn’t roughed anyone up). A word to the unwise: Pick on someone your own size.

– Justyn Dillingham is the copy chief for the Arizona Daily Wildcat and is a junior majoring in political science and history.