Summer is practically here, as you can tell by the disabling heat that hits you when you step outside, and that means movies with explosions. This may be the summer to beat all summers, with Superman and the X-Men returning to the screen. While there are plenty of promising films on their way out, one movie sticks out like a sore thumb in the middle of it all. “”Click,”” a high-concept comedy about a man who gets a universal remote control that actually controls the universe, stars Adam Sandler and is written by the same team that brought us “”Bruce Almighty.”” What a tough job those writers must have had. But my gripe is with Adam Sandler, who needs to stop making movies. As he adds to his embarrassing resume, which includes the super-embarrassing “”Mr. Deeds”” and “”Little Nicky,”” you’ve got to wonder if he’s even trying. Has there even been a new joke in one of his movies since “”Billy Madison””? In the “”Click”” trailer, we see that once again Sandler will be beating someone up, degrading women and attempting to be heartwarming at the end. Please stop, Adam. Or do “”Punch Drunk Love 2.””

“”South Park”” reached a new low in irresponsibility last week and no doubt alienated a few fans in the process. The episode portrayed Al Gore as a lonely, pathetic character trying to stop the fictional threat he calls “”Man Bear Pig”” (read: global warming). Gore may be lonely and pathetic, but comparing global warming to a half-man, half-bearpig monster seems insane, especially with “”South Park’s”” slightly liberal fan base. Since Scientologists, Mormons and “”Family Guy”” fans have also stopped watching the show in protest, creators Matt Parker and Trey Stone must be relying on the ever-elusive Buddhist demographic to keep it on the air.

Great news for daytime talk-show fans (I know most college students are), as Rosie O’Donnell will be taking a spot on “”The View’s”” couch. The move is so insignificant I could only think of its insignificance as a subject for a second sentence. In other “”View”” news, Star Jones made a frightening appearance at the Daytime Emmys, apparently dressing in costume as her own carcass. You heard it hear first, folks: Star Jones = zombie.

One of the great disappointments of my college life is how hard the Weezer albums have sucked while I’ve been at the UA. Fortunately, some people out there still remember the good times, and the blog “”Another Form of Relief”” has a two-part post with unreleased Weezer. Some of the newer songs (“”Mo Beats””) are as bad as “”Beverly Hills,”” but older songs like “”Blast Off,”” “”You Won’t Get With Me Tonight”” and “”Longtime Sunshine”” show Rivers in top form. Be forewarned, listening may trick you into thinking that Weezer will make good music again. www.theclerisy.com

David Blaine, who is not half as funny as Gob Bluth, has submerged himself in a sphere of water for a week in his latest stunt, “”Drowned Alive.”” To keep track of this preposterous stunt, check out Blaine’s blog for daily updates and pictures of this overgrown child. And by the way, David, most people drown alive. Anyone can do it. www.davidblaine.com

Washington, D.C. – The Internet exploded after Stephen Colbert performed in front of President Bush at the White House Correspondents dinner Sunday night.

Colbert, host of Comedy Central’s “”The Colbert Report,”” roasted the president in his mocking Conservative character for about 20 minutes, chastising reality for having a liberal bias before comparing Bush to a bloodied, beaten Rocky and his administration to the Hindenburg.

Shortly after Colbert shook the Bush’s hand and received a pat on the back, Internet video sites began experiencing extreme bandwidth problems. Web sites like YouTube and iFilm blew up first, setting off a chain reaction that hit every blog on the Web.

The Internet was 16 years old. It is survived by its little sister, AOL Instant Messenger, and its father, Al Gore.

“”I think she caters to older white women,””

-50 Cent, about Oprah Winfrey and her prejudice against rappers.