On the spot

The Wildcat found regional development senior Remington Diaz sitting at Cost Cutters on East University Boulevard, waiting for a hair cut.

Wildcat: Okay, you’re on the spot. Who’s your favorite celebrity stylist?

Diaz: No idea.

W: Is there a celebrity who you like their style and would recommend their stylist to anyone?

D: I’ve always kind of had my own thing. I wear it big and up. That’s about it.

W: What are you going to do if they screw up your hair?

D: Undertip?

W: But what are you going to do to your hair?

D: I’ll find a way. Make it work.

W: Would you ever consider changing it into
a half-mullet?

D: No.

W: What about a beehive?

D: No.

W: What about an afro?

D: No.

W: A bouffant?

D: I don’t even know what a bouffant is.

W: I don’t know either. What about a hydro-phallus?

D: No idea what that is.

W: What about a Mohawk?

D: I’ve done a few faux-hawks in my time, but that’s about it.

W: If you wear a hat on top of a Mohawk, does it hurt your head?

D: I don’t know, I’ve never tried it.

W: What about changing your hair into a hat that looks like hair?

D: No way.

W: What about a wig?

D: No.

W: What about long hair like a girl; down to your knees?

D: No possible way.

W: What about curly hair?

D: My hair’s very straight.

W: What’s your favorite sandwich?

D: Um, anything. Turkey, mostly.

W: Turkey? Would you ever consider wearing turkey as a wig?

D: No.

W: What about ham?

D: Never.

W: What about bologna?

D: No.

W: What about shrimp?

D: No meat or fish or anything like that.

W: What about any kind of material like a rug or trash can or a bicycle?

D: No, I’m pretty content how I keep it.

– interview by Andi Berlin