Wildcat: Hi, you’re on the spot. So, I have a miniature schnauzer at home and I was going to Petsmart and none of the clothes are really hip there. Is there anything that would be cool for a miniature schnauzer to wear?

Matt Wade: XXL tees. Big shirts are in.

W: Wouldn’t that drag a little bit while it’s walking?

MW: It’s a dog.

W: I think if the clothing was too small, it could hurt them, you know. Or maybe the XXL tees you could use as a collar. If you wrap it around their neck, you don’t have to have anything that shocks them.

MW: It’ll simultaneously scoop poop too, cause they’ll poop in the shirt.

W: Isn’t that really expensive though to get a really nice XXL tee for a dog?

MW: How much do you love your dog?

W: If Dr. Phil was staying at your house and you had to dress him to take him out to Optimist Club, what would you dress him in?

MW: Would he look good in pink?

W: Do you think that he would say it’s some psychological depravity?

MW: Could I put a bag over his head?

W: Well, are bags cool this season?

MW: They’re always in.

W: Maybe like a bright color like blue or neon red.

MW: You could put a happy face on it.

W: Or maybe you could decorate it with some hipster art or something. What’s the worst fashion travesty?

MW: Ugly shoes. Obviously UGG boots, moccasins, dirty sandals, crocs. Crocs are the worst.

W: If you had to dress Mother Teresa, what would you have her wearing?

MW: A halo.

W: Like a bright one from a medieval painting or…

MW: Neon.

W: Would you put her in a skirt or pants?

MW: Pants.

W: Like skinny jeans or tights?

MW: No, like those fashionable kind of wide, baggy pants. I don’t know what women wear. But you know, she’s a small girl. You don’t want to make her look smaller.