Bicyclist urinates on building, gets free trip to foreign country

University of Arizona Police Department officers noticed a man urinating in public near 1303 E. University Blvd. on Sept. 16 at 11:10 p.m. The man then got on a bicycle and began to ride toward the intersection of Speedway Boulevard and Mountain Avenue, where police were able to stop the man. When officers made contact with the man, he was unable to provide police with any form of identification. During questioning, the man gave police three different names and three different dates of birth. After questioning, the man finally admitted to being in the country illegally and refused to give officers a real name. U.S. Customs and Border Patrol arrived on scene to take custody of the unidentified man and he was transported to a nearby government facility, where he is awaiting deportation.

Hot dog spends evening in big house

UAPD officers were on patrol in the area of Vine Avenue and First Street on Nov. 1 at 12:46 a.m. when a man in a hot dog costume jumped out into the street in front of their fully marked police cruiser. The man jumped from the sidewalk to the street, extended the middle finger on his left hand toward officers and screamed, “”Fuck you.”” Officers exited the vehicle and made contact with the man. They asked him for identification and he replied that he did not have any on his person. Officers noticed the strong odor of intoxicants coming from the man’s mouth as he spoke. Police asked the man how old he was and he replied that he was 19. Police then asked the man for his name, which he gave as Michael Joseph Jackson. Police attempted several times to determine the man’s real name and age, but he continued to provide false information. Officers eventually determined who the man was and placed him under arrest. During a search of his person, officers discovered a fictitious California driver’s license. They cited the man on charges of false reporting to a law enforcement officer, possession of a fake ID and minor in possession. He was additionally issued a civil citation for obstructing traffic. He was transported to Pima County Jail where he was booked.

Geriatric Romeo unable to woo younger woman

UAPD officers met with a female student at the UAPD main station on Nov. 17 at 10:22 a.m. in reference to suspicious activity. According to the woman, she had been attending an LSAT preparation course on Nov. 16 at the Student Union when another class member made her feel uncomfortable. She described the other class member as “”a creeper”” and told officers that he was in his late 60s or early 70s. She stated that he followed her out of class and all the way to her car, which was parked at the Second Street Garage. She stated that once at her car, the man produced a Victoria’s Secret box, which he gave to her as a gift. Inside of the box was a $25 gift card. She stated that she did not know why the man would have given her a gift and admitted that is had made her feel very uncomfortable. She stated that she did not feel threatened but wanted to report the incident so that it would be documented. She told police that rather than have any further contact with the man, she would give the gift to her instructor and the instructor could return the it.