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The Daily Wildcat

The Daily Wildcat

 

    How not to be that guy on Valentine’s

    I haven’t had a Valentine in three years, and I probably won’t again this year. And you know what? That doesn’t give me, or anyone else in my situation, the right to ruin the special day for anyone else.

    I didn’t always think that way though. I went through the phases of the being-alone-on-Valentine’s-Day process. First came being cynical about the holiday in general, taking every excuse to put down those who were actually celebrating it. Second, the faux confidence, accompanied with equally fake boasts about celebrating “single’s awareness day.” The last step was a quiet sadness and self-isolation driven by wallowing in the realization that the past two years were nothing but an emotional front. Then there’s the fourth step: acceptance — that’s this year.

    You see, it’s easy to go around belittling everyone else’s romantic day by putting it down. We say it’s a corporate holiday, we say people should always be romantic instead of just on one day. Hell, we say any damn thing we can think of to avoid admitting to people we just didn’t have anyone on Valentine’s Day and we’re not happy with it. The one thing so many people can’t do is just step aside and let the couples have their day.

    Yes, corporations do make a killing off of Valentine’s Day. Yes, people should always make their love known to the significant others in their lives. But come on, being that romantic all the time is flat-out hard — plus, it kills the specialness of days like Valentine’s Day. And since when has supporting the economy been bad? It’s really just a great opportunity for people who love each other to express that.

    What it all boils down to is there are so many better things people without a Valentine can do instead of raining on everyone else’s parade. Since I’m such a nice guy, here’s a little list of ideas:

    Give a fellow single person a gift

    It doesn’t have to be a scene ripped out of “Cyrano de Bergerac.” Flowers, or something less prone to dying, will suffice. But no one really minds being shown some appreciation on Valentine’s Day. It doesn’t even have to be someone you’re romantically interested in. There’s this thing called platonic love too, and there’s no problem with expressing it on V-Day.

    Help a friendly couple have a nice date

    Most of my friends are in relationships, and if I had the money to afford it, I’d love nothing more than to pick up the bill for a special night out at some swanky restaurant. Because even if I may not be taking someone out, I still love my friends and I love them being together — so why not let them know? It doesn’t have to be anything fancy, and make sure you work it around whatever plans they might already have, but it never hurts to help a friend out this way. Think of it as being a relationship wing-person.

    Get the courage to just tell the person you like how you feel

    Let’s level here, people. More than half of those who are pouting on Valentine’s Day do so because there’s someone they wish they could have, not because there’s no one worth being interested in. If there isn’t anyone on your mind during Valentine’s Day, what’s to be upset about? It’s not like there’s anyone you’d want to spend it with anyway.

    So if you find the holiday’s coming to be ominous, maybe it means you should speak up and let that special someone know what they mean to you. If they reciprocate, awesome, your Valentine’s Day just got that much better. If they don’t, oh well, at least you know where you stand.

    Just let the couples have their day

    This is both the easiest and most important way to avoid being a Valentine’s Day Scrooge. Just treat it like another day. Wish everyone a happy Valentine’s, or don’t. Just don’t go around saying anything bad about it. Just don’t. Not even a joke. No, not one — only encouragement, because sometimes the people celebrating Valentine’s Day really need it, and being negative can kill the mood.

    So come Valentine’s Day, wish everyone a day filled with love — and no bad vibes on Facebook, since that’s where they all end up these days.

    — Jason Krell is the assistant copy chief. He can be reached at arts@wildcat.arizona.edu or on Twitter via @WildcatArts.

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