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The Daily Wildcat

The Daily Wildcat

 

    On The Spot

    Ben Cookenvironmental sciences senior
    Ben Cook
    environmental sciences senior

    Courtney: Hi, my name is Courtney, and you’re On The Spot. What are you doing?
    Ben Cook: Really?
    C: Yes, really.
    BC: I have waited for this for four years. I knew it would happen.
    C: Well, here it is baby. Get ready. Are you familiar with the Naked Cowboy, one of the more famous street performers in Times Square?
    BC: Yes, vaguely familiar.
    C: Have you ever seen him?
    BC: The naked guy in Times Square? No.
    C: He is about to release his debut CD. Are you ready for his music?
    BC: Well, I’m not a big country fan.
    C: But he compares himself to The Beatles and Elvis Presley. Tell me you like Elvis Presley.
    BC: I like The Beatles.
    C: Did you know that Elvis Presley’s original hair color was blond and that he was 5-foot-11? His middle name is often misspelled. He was originally named after his twin brother, who died at birth.
    BC: What was his middle name?
    C: Aron.
    BC: Yeah. … I appreciate his music so much more now. It helps me get past the whole brain aneurysm on the toilet thing.
    C: A recent study came out that said living conditions often affect life expectancy. Was that the case with Elvis
    BC:Yes. Definitely.
    C: What are your living conditions?
    BC: I live in an apartment.
    C: Anything that could lead to premature death?
    BC: The apartment itself, maybe the mold growing in the carpet from all the flooding. There aren’t any power lines nearby. It is kind of close to the Air Force base, so if somebody decides they want to take that out, I am probably living in the blast radius.
    C: Maybe you’re living on an ancient burial ground. Is your house haunted?
    BC: It is possible. I would have to check. Yeah, we did have a little thing with the Ouija board there once. It was a little scary. Somebody was talking to us. I was told that I was going to die.
    C: So if your place is haunted, living environment does affect life expectancy?
    BC:Definitely, considering my life was threatened by a supernatural being.
    C: Could it have been a family member from the past?
    BC:It is probably the Ghost of … (his friend finishes: Christmas Past). I am Jewish. So it was probably the Ghost of Hanukkah Harry.

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