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The Daily Wildcat

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The Daily Wildcat

The Daily Wildcat

 

    On The Spot

    On The Spot

    For the love of squirrels

    The Wildcat found undecided freshman Tom Greenhalgh while he was playing basketball at the court next to Cochise Residence Hall.

    Wildcat: Hi, you’re on the spot. Or at least actually, I’m kind of tired of thinking of questions so how about I’m on the spot. You ask me a question.

    Greenhalgh: About anything?

    W: Yeah.

    G: OK, what year are you in?

    W: Senior.

    G: I’m guessing you’re majoring in journalism or communications, correct?

    W: How did you know that?

    G: Because you’re writing for the Wildcat.

    W: Oh.

    G: What do you write about?

    W: Fashion, trees, animals and defecating, I think.

    G: Okay.

    W: Ask me another question. Is there any way you could ask me a question and put a squirrel in there somehow?

    G: Squirrel?

    W: I mean, that last question was good, and I liked it. But I write about animals, so…

    G: Were you going to interview me about something like that?

    W: No, just in general. I just like squirrels. I mean, you could ask me if I own a squirrel, or if I would be a squirrel…

    G: Would you rather be a squirrel or a human?

    W: Human.

    G: Why?

    W: I donno, I actually don’t really like squirrels that much.

    G: So what’s your fascination with them?

    W: I don’t know, I don’t really like them. Well, I like them but don’t. All right, let’s just do another question. Can you ask me one about soda cans?

    G: What’s your favorite kind of soda … can?
    The design.

    W: Hmm. That’s a really good question. I would say, Fanta? I just like the colors, but I don’t really remember what the design is per se. Okay, ask me what my favorite snake is.

    G: What’s your favorite snake?

    W: Hmm, I’m not sure. Sidewinder, python? Which is the one that kills the cows?

    G: I’m not sure.

    W: I think that’s a python. Is there a basketball team that has a snake?

    G: Basketball teams, no. There are baseball
    teams: Diamondbacks.

    W: Oh yeah, that’s what I was thinking! OK, last one. Actually, I’ll ask you a question because this isn’t going very well. If you had to ask me an annoying question, what would it be?

    G: Um, how much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a wouldchuck could chuck wood?

    W: Ten!

    – interview by Andi Berlin

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