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The Daily Wildcat

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The Daily Wildcat

The Daily Wildcat


    Letters from Monsoon

    Dear clean notebooks,

    I love the arrival of every new semester because it means I can freely wander Target’s aisles of school supplies, take advantage of back-to-school bargains and marvel at all your unmarred pages.
    Classmates who rely on their laptops don’t get you the way I do. They don’t appreciate the joy of turning to a fresh page to take careful notes in your college-ruled lines and doodle in the margins. Other people just don’t appreciate the value of writing things down.

    Ultra-smooth pens and well-designed planners might turn my head, but you’ll always be my favorite.

    See you in class,
    Kristina Bui

    Dear professors who choose to read their syllabi aloud,

    Thank you so much for realizing that your students — while able to get into college — are more than likely either unable to read, impervious to instruction or both. Special thanks to those who not only pass out the syllabus, but then remind everyone to pay attention and not read ahead. This helps set up the precedent that you want your students to strive for the impossible. The instructors that really deserve our kudos, though, are the ones that lead the class in syllabus story time only to negate the thing later. Because while a syllabus is a contract between you and the student it is, most importantly, subject to change at any point in time throughout the semester.

    Thanks for taking the time to vocalize verbatim everything that may or may not happen during our time together. While some may assume you just want to put off formulating your actual lesson plan, we know you are just being sensitive to our needs as rebellious illiterates.

    Ears perked,
    Bethany Barnes

    Dear future campus pedestrians,
    It can be tough starting out on campus. You’re running around, trying to find the obscurely-named astronomy building which inexplicably houses your Latin class, you’re getting frustrated, worried you’re about to be late. It is during these times of temporary panic that you may feel compelled to expedite your trek by walking in the bike lanes. A word of advice: don’t. While I truly sympathize with your plight, there is nothing more annoying than having to swerve suddenly or come to a complete stop because some frazzled-looking freshie has their face buried in a campus map or a group of sorority girls are reenacting the Berlin Wall across the lane. So do us all a favor and get on the sidewalk, or step on the grass. Consider not walking in the bike lane to be your first collegiate logic puzzle.

    Big wheels keep on turnin’,
    Luke Money

    Dear “that guy,”

    I know you’re really excited for the beginning of the school year. You’ve been reading Nietzche and Freud all summer so that, when you sit in the front of the classroom and answer every question the teacher asks, you can word-vomit all your irrelevant knowledge about some philosophical conundrum. You think you sound intelligent, but really, it’s just annoying. If you want to answer a question, at least talk about the same thing that everybody else is discussing.

    Also, when the teacher is about to end class early, you’re never supposed to raise your hand and bring up yet another point. See everyone packing up? It’s because they want to leave. So don’t get in their way. There’s nothing wrong with loving school, but you take that love to a whole new level.

    Don’t try too hard,
    Miranda Butler

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