Not every break is fun. Some weekends, all one can do is sit around while “friends” tweet about some party you weren’t invited to. This, however, is not the time to rot in the decay of your self-pity. A shitty weekend is an opportunity to rely on yourself for a good time. You can go to the bar to make new friends, you can take up skateboarding, you can introduce your body to foreign substances and you can make yourself laugh with some ridiculous and funny music. Check these albums out whenever you need to boost your mood:
William Shatner, Seeking Major Tom
Did you know William Shatner can sing? Actually, he can’t, but he’s been writing and covering songs since the ‘60s. Just last year, he released Seeking Major Tom, his third album, in which he performs dramatic readings of mostly classic rock songs. There’s nothing quite as funny as listening to Captain Kirk’s elegant, deep voice recite the lyrics of Queen’s “Bohemian Rhapsody,” Elton John’s “Rocket Man” and even Black Sabbath’s “Iron Man.” And yes, he also covers Peter Schilling’s “Major Tom.” Most of these songs also have videos, so open YouTube, search for Shatner’s songs and laugh your ass off.
Tenacious D, Tenacious D
Now that Rize of the Fenix was released, Tenacious D is probably in the public mind once again. The same thing happened when the movie “Pick of Destiny” was released and its subsequent album came out. But now it’s time to let loose some of the fanatic zeal that comes with new releases and delve into the depths of old music to revive the real D. Their self-titled album was the ultimate mastery of comedy-metal, lashing together humor about Satan, band fights, sex and general gluttony. If you’ve heard their original self-titled album, you’ll revel in nostalgia and hilarity. For the new listener, the novelty won’t wear off for years to come. As was said in their 1997 HBO show, “Caution: The surgeon general of rock warns that viewing this band is equal to 29 orgasms.”
Less Than Jake, TV EP
Commercial culture is usually disgusting in retrospect, but it’s funny when Less Than Jake covers it. TV EP is an 11-minute album that consists entirely of commercial jingles and TV theme songs. For the younger crowd, there’s the theme to “Spongebob” and Hasbro’s “Hungry, Hungry Hippos” jingle. For the slightly older crowd, there are themes from “That ‘70s Show,” “Scooby-Doo,” “Married With Children” and “Laverne & Shirley.” Oh, and don’t forget the FreeCreditReport.com jingle, and then some surprises. Prepare for nostalgia-gasms.
The Aquabats!, Charge!
They were borne of a mad scientist, they fought evil through the third-wave ska scene and continue to fight evil through electronic rock — they are the Aquabats! With a twist of happy-go-lucky, punk style — no set form, humorous approaches to isolation, mockery of popular culture — this music is best-suited for anyone who appreciates nerd humor. Sure, the band makes appearances on Nick Jr., but toddlers can’t fully appreciate songs about cats with two heads, fashion zombies and Asians crashing into each other with rickshaws like a college kid can. Plus, the Aquabats! dress up in blue spandex to fight facetious villains live on stage. Their tongue-in-cheek, quirky lyrics and general silliness should get you going.
Guttermouth, Covered With Ants
Don’t tell your mom about this one. For an easy classification, I’ll call this one hillbilly shock-rock. Like the Aquabats, Guttermouth is punk and very tongue-in-cheek, but dirtier and abrasive in a way that might cause a bar fight. Pissed off? Listen to the fiddle-and-banjo-driven “I’m Destroying the World.” Need inspiration to drink? Turn on “Chug-a-Lug Night.” You can also say “fuck you” to the world by blasting “Cram It Up Your Ass,” which features piano and only two lines of lyrics, “Cram it up your ass / I just creamed my jeans,” for the ultimate what-the-fuckery. This is the music your grandparents hate and your parents have always feared. One Guttermouth album, Gorgeous, has a dude licking his own nipple on the cover. Go forth with this music and blast it — and fuck what other people think — because you might be having a shitty weekend. You’ve earned a rocking good laugh.
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