“”There’s a script for the next part of the story – but I would like to direct it rather than star in it,””
said Sharon Stone, who apparently wasn’t informed that “”Basic Instinct 2″” took in only $3 million at the box office last weekend, all from moviegoers hoping for another shot of Stone’s junk.

The three stooges are back and begging for a reality show. Lindsay Lohan, Kate Moss and Courtney Love are reportedly going on vacation together in Hawaii. Let’s hope cocaine and diet pills are on the poolside menu.

The new black-and-white animated PSP ad campaign is brilliant. Squirrels, rats and dustballs show the public why portable is always better. The best has to be the squirrel spot, with one squirrel visiting another with a “”nut you can play with outside.”” The deadpan advertiser repeats the phrase, and by that point I’m actually considering buying one of these pieces. I’m getting ready to sell my iPod anyway. Apple’s commercials don’t appeal to me. I’m colorblind.

It’s tough to find something to complain about during the first week of the baseball season. The air is fresh, the sky blue and the grass – well, I haven’t really been outside because the small-screen is jam-packed with MLB action (I hope ESPN sends me a sweatshirt for that one). I also just read that the new Built to Spill album, You in Reverse, is streaming over on VH1’s Web site. Life is good. But you know what isn’t good? Female drivers. No, just kidding. Everything is good.

I can’t stop watching NBC’s “”Deal or No Deal”” show. A bald Howie Mandel hosts the gambling game, which has no trivia or skill element whatsoever. On paper, it seems like the most boring show on television, and it looks that way, too. And yet, I am drawn to it, like Paris Hilton to a night vision camera, knowing I’ll be embarrassed when the public finds out. You can catch the show almost every night of the week, since NBC always has a slot to fill – coincidentally, this is also like Paris Hilton.

Gnarls Barkley seems like it might be even better than Danger Mouse and MF Doom. This time, Danger Mouse teams with Cee-Lo. Their first single, “”Crazy,”” is available on their Web site. It’s almost as good as their movie-inspired promo pictures, which recreate shots from “”Napoleon Dynamite”” and “”Clockwork Orange,”” among others. www.gnarlsbarkley.com

Do you love singing pop sensations but hate killing brain cells with television? Now you can read your TV, on the informational and entertaining blog TVgasm. If you fell asleep during the last half of “”24″” or just can’t get enough “”8th and Ocean,”” head here for all the news and reviews. www.TVgasm.com