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The Daily Wildcat

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The Daily Wildcat

The Daily Wildcat

 

    Wildcat columnists sound off on the zaniest stories from this week’s headlines

    Wearing the Dunst hat

    The Story: Speculation that “”Spiderman 4″” might be made without her had Kirsten Dunst up in a dander. “”Audiences aren’t stupid,”” she told Entertainment Weekly. “”It’d be a big flop without me, Tobey (Maguire) or (director) Sam (Raimi).””

    The Diss: “”A big flop””? Please. If Dunst thinks successful comic book remakes are character-driven, she obviously didn’t see the box office returns for “”Ghost Rider.”” Besides, the apple-cheeked Dunst is kidding herself if she thinks she isn’t replaceable; all that’s been required of Spiderman’s romantic interests are gravitationally challenged makeout sessions and the willingness to utter grating lines like “”Everybody needs help sometimes.”” Dunst needs to face the music. This is Hollywood, not a family reunion – no one will think twice before swapping her out for the next starry-eyed ingenue.

    – Damion LeeNatali is a senior majoring in political science and history

    Brass makes a monkey of Bush

    The Story: On Monday, retired Marine Corps Gen. John Sheehan explained in The Washington Post why he decided to decline the Bush administration’s offer to become the military czar of the Iraq and Afghanistan conflicts. Executive summary: The Bush administration doesn’t know what it’s doing.

    The Diss: Surprise, surprise. It’s old news that this administration is deplorably inept, but very rarely do we hear it from those (formerly) of the military establishment. Sheehan did the right thing by declining a thankless sinecure where he would be constrained by the ideological incompetence of this administration. Sheehan argued that our tactics on the ground don’t match an overarching regional strategy. We’re essentially flying by the seat of our pants in an asteroid field. Unless you’re Han Solo (George Bush isn’t), this smells like disaster.

    – Matt Stone is a senior majoring in international studies and economics.

    Space: The idiot’s frontier

    The Story: NASA has admitted that “”human error”” was responsible for their loss of their Mars Surveyor probe.

    The Response: Sure, human error happens. But this is not the first time NASA has blown obscene amounts of money because of stupid mistakes. In 1999, the Mars Climate Orbiter (cost: $125 million) burned up in the Martian atmosphere because one-half of NASA was using miles and the other one-half was using kilometers. Now, this probe (cost: $247 million) is space flotsam because NASA let one of its batteries fry. And remind me, how do these Mars gadgets benefit the people who pay the taxes that pay for them? NASA can’t argue that it exists to further the study of science if it can’t even play with its toys without trashing them. If I mixed up the use of miles and kilometers in a lab report, I’d get an F. So does NASA for this new stunt.

    – Lillie Kilburn is a psychology sophomore.

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