Clarifying Marx on masturbation

It was a surprise to see my paper cited in Daniel Sullivan’s opinion piece on masturbation (“”Give masturbation a chance”” 4/4). While I like the general gist of the piece (and the easy, well-written tone), the use of my paper is a bit off track. The article reads: “”Karl Marx pointed out that as philosophy helps us understand reality, so masturbation aids our relation to the act of sexual intercourse.”” Actually, Karl Marx was attacking philosophy, and maligning masturbation – and the whole of my article was a rebuttal of this. Just thought I’d clear this up.

Dr. Damon Young
Department of Philosophy
University of Melbourne

Guns on campus? How ’bout knives?

I would like to offer a solution to the guns on campus debate: throwing knives.

There are many benefits to be had when we consider throwing knife training. Lightweight, concealable, inexpensive and easy to reach in case of an emergency, the knives would make wonderful weapons against any campus attacker.

If someone were to threaten students with, say, a gun, there would be at least a few people nearby who could injure and incapacitate the potential shooter with their knives before there could be any gunfire. Exceptionally skilled students may even knock the gun out of the attacker’s hand, averting potential disaster in an even more cinematic way than the proposed concealed firearms would. And if someone is too close to throw knives, then she or he can use the knives on the would-be shooter the old-fashioned way.

Granted, there is the problem of training every student, faculty and staff member. We can have a one-day course offered throughout the year taught by professional knife throwers from the circus. Each person associated with the university would have to attend at least one session in order to learn the basics. After that, taking additional courses at higher skill levels would be left to the discretion of the individual. Between each round of courses, we would have half-hour practice sessions every weekday in order to hone our skills. These sessions would take place on the UA Mall after lunch and at the end of a long day so that throwers can digest their lunch, get some exercise and relieve their daily stress. Funding this would be easy: charge everyone $2 each year. This would cover the cost of training and starting materials, especially when buying knives wholesale.

Is this a crazy proposal? Well, I don’t see any difference between this and allowing a few trained individuals to carry handguns on campus. At least with my proposal everyone – and I mean everyone – would feel safer and healthier.

Steven Kwan
nutritional sciences senior