Today we’re talking about turkey day, so what are you doing?

Um, I’m going home. I’m going back to Chandler, so…

Wow, that’s pretty exotic.

I know, right? (Laughs) It’s so exotic. Oh, hold on a second. My friend is calling me. (Takes phone call)

It’s all good, don’t even worry about it. (Waits for end of call) So anyway, what’s on the menu for Thursday?

Um, turkey — but I’m not eating it because I’m a vegetarian — and some green beans. We always have all of our family members cook one thing. We’ll have turkey, green beans, stuffing, roast beef, pork, we have all sorts of things.

So if you’re a vegetarian, how can you enjoy Thanksgiving properly without eating any turkey? I mean, it’s called “”Turkey Day.””

Um, yeah, but I don’t eat the turkey so I just eat everything else.

What about fish?

Yeah, I eat fish.

So do you guys have fish on turkey day?

We have a lot of stuff. Because we’re from Africa we have a lot of weird stuff there.

Well now you’ve got to describe some of the weird stuff.

(Laughs) Um, let me think. We’ll have fried bananas and we’ll have some rice.

Well, anything fried is good.

Well, do you want to hear something really weird? Have you ever eaten grasshoppers before?

Nah. My great aunt or something used to eat chocolate covered ants, but no grasshoppers.

Ew, I’ve heard of that. But we’ll have grasshoppers, but I don’t eat them because (pauses) ew. Yeah, ew.

What’s your favorite part of Thanksgiving?

It’s probably Black Friday shopping. (Laughs)

So what’s on the list then?

I want to get an iPod and just basically go around looking for sales. I want a longboard because I just want a longboard.

So it’s 2009 and you don’t have an iPod yet?

I do but it got stole. It was shady, but whatever.

— Brian Kimball