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The Daily Wildcat

75° Tucson, AZ

The Daily Wildcat

The Daily Wildcat


    On the spot

    On the spot

    We found buisness freshman John Gerrard next to Coronado Residence Hall.

    Wildcat: OK, you’re on the spot. What are you going to do for Valentine’s Day?

    Gerrard: Have a good time with my girl.

    W: How are you going to do that?

    G: I’m taking her to Ra, and then get her wet and do something good.

    W: One of my friends sent his girlfriend a bunch of flowers to her office, since he lives in California. Have you ever done that for someone?

    G: Hell no, I’m not down with that. I’m lazy and I’m fucking cheap.

    W: Have you ever bought a teddy bear the size of a miniature horse?

    G: Hell no.

    W: Have you ever taken someone out to a nice place?

    G: Yeah. That’s why we’re going to Ra. It’s pretty nice, it’s good.

    W: What about Anthony’s? I think that’s a little better than Ra.

    G: I’ve never heard of that. I’m not a T-loc. I’m from California.

    W: You should branch out.

    G: Oh shit, you’re right.

    W: Have you ever gotten a tattoo with a picture of her lips or various body parts?

    G: No, that’s kinky. I’m going to try it.

    W: How much would you pay for a tattoo like that?

    G: She could pay me ten bucks.

    W: Have you ever gotten her a Vespa?

    G: No.

    W: Have you ever gotten her a slave from a different country?

    G: I wish. No.

    W: Have you ever gotten her a life-size portrait of Marie Antoinette?

    G: Naw.

    W: Have you ever gotten her a small island?

    G: I have not done that.

    W: Have you ever gotten her a swimming pool filled with shampoo?

    G: No, I have not.

    W: Have you ever gotten a celebrity impersonator to impersonate her?

    G: No, I haven’t.

    W: So all you’re doing is taking her out to Ra? I mean, good luck man.

    G: I got her whipped, it’s chill.

    – interview by Andi Berlin

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