To be absolutely clear, I was going to do love songs (and make everyone cry), but I was asked to do sex songs instead. So, here is the best conglomeration of the nastiest, raunchiest, kinkiest, barebackin’-est, ball-slappy-est sex songs I could think of without listing songs by Madonna. Nothing about this playlist is subtle. You have been warned.
“S&M” – Rihanna
You know this playlist starts off right when YouTube tells you to log in because there may be content unsuitable for children. This song is a good introduction to exploring the magical land of bondage, dominance, sadism and masochism. My favorite part: the moan at the end.
“Right Round” – Flo Rida
This song is unashamedly and unabashedly about oral sex (as is most of Flo Rida’s music) and the chorus is haunting.
“You spin my head right round, right round when you go down, when you go down.”
That’s not juat a catchy earworm, that’s a set of detailed instructions on Blowjobs 101. Anyway, this song is super fun and it’s wonderfully constructed with the rising electronic licks and the addition of Ke$ha’s voice. To sum up: blowjob.
“Shake It” – Metro Station
This song is about that terrible sex you had as a teenager in which you were scared you’d get caught by your parents (or theirs). Neither you nor your partner’s genitals had matured and were not yet working like they do. You experimented so much and definitely, definitely got things wrong.
“LoveGame” – Lady Gaga
Going back and listening to early Lady Gaga was weird and I definitely had high school flashbacks, which was even weirder. Do I really need to say more about Lady Gaga’s disco stick?
“Sledgehammer” – Fifth Harmony
This song is enjoyable for its synths and beats, and probably the subtlest of sex songs on this list (which isn’t saying much). “Sledgehammer” has a great energy to it and, while the subject matter is orgasms, it’s nice to see people can still make sex into art without being obtuse about it.
“SexyBack” – Justin Timberlake
To this day, this song is still bringing sexy back. It’s got a sick beat and is relentless in the way it piles on the pleasure. The music video is great and Justin Timberlake—his acting career aside—sploosh.
“If U Seek Amy” – Britney Spears
Sometimes you don’t actually need to say anything. Have we ever known our dear Britney to be delicate in any way, shape or form?
“STARSTRUKK” – 3OH!3 featuring Katy Perry
When I listened to this song in high school, I never realized what it was about. Now, it makes my skin crawl and I feel ashamed of putting it on this playlist. This song is extremely sexy and, not subtly, a track about hook-up culture. A closer look reveals a song about raping women, but it makes the list because sex is complicated and desires are too. Having said that, please, please do not take the message of this song or its music video to heart.
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