I always thought Facebook etiquette was self-explanatory; I have been proven wrong time and time again in my college career. It has been brought to my attention that universities across the nation need to lay out the standards for facebooking. Since the UA is making no efforts to implement a course of this nature, I am going to guide you.  

While you are hitting up house parties or going out to the bars, you are going to be meeting new people consistently all throughout the semester. Some of the people you will never want to see again, but for the other 10 percent, you will try to find them on Facebook. Subtlety is key when adding new friends to your Facebook posse. One thing to avoid is adding someone the night you met him or her. I cannot stress this point enough. Unless you want someone to be severely creeped out by you, don’t do it. Traditionally it is standard to wait three days after getting a phone number to use it, and in the present day and age, this unspoken rule can be translated and applied to adding a friend on Facebook as well. Better yet, if you can hold out, wait to receive a friend request. Trust me, you want the power.  

Once friended, creeping on the person’s page is the next logical step. Keep in mind there is a time and place for Facebook stalking, and class is neither the time nor place. Whether you’re in a lecture hall of 1,000 or in an intimate class setting of 20, people can see your shit. To clarify, people are trying to see your shit; chances are, it is more entertaining than the lecture. So while you are flipping through every single picture of that hot girl you saw out last night, her friend is sitting directly behind you and is definitely going to text her, describing you as some weirdo stalker. Is that the image you would like to create for yourself? No. You may be thinking, well I don’t really care what anyone else thinks. Doubt it. If you didn’t care, then you wouldn’t be Facebook stalking.

Knowing that creeping on Facebook is what keeps you going throughout the day, be prepared for your page to be hit just as hard. Less is more when it comes to your profile. There is no need to list your address or phone number. People like to work for things and will lose interest if everything they need to know about you is readily available.

As someone who has more than 70 photo albums on Facebook, I am not sure I am qualified to give this advice, but I am going to do it anyway. There is no need to upload every picture you have ever taken, nor do you need to go tag happy and make sure every person in every picture is identified.

Soon you will see that you’ve gotten yourself into a situation in which damage control is the only option — you hooked up with someone who is not so single, you got in a drunken fight or you talked shit about someone who was within earshot. How you handle the situation is entirely up to you, but let me recommend two words and a vowel: block a bitch. Few things are more gratifying than permanently blocking someone on Facebook. Blocking people has saved me from many bad situations. It is to be used in situations where your pride, safety or reputation is on the line. Blocking is definitely more effective and safer than deleting, plus you can block a person before he is even your Facebook friend. Be wary, though. There is nothing more embarrassing than deleting or blocking somebody, only to later make amends and then have to re-friend request them.

These are in no way all of the unspoken Facebook rules, but it is a solid building block. If you follow these suggestions you will be better off, or at least appear to be better off, which is equally, if not more, important. Let me leave you with the best reason as to why you should comply with this advice: self-respect.

— Mallory Hawkins is a communication senior.