So summer is here and you find yourself remarkably single. Just because you haven’t committed your life to someone yet doesn’t mean there aren’t plenty of potential partners out there who you can show off your beach-season bod to. There are plenty of fish in the sea, right? But how do you weed out the clownfish and find yourself a good catch? More importantly: How can you assure this fish will end up back in the ocean and off your plate come fall?
The perfect summer fling is tricky to execute, but with these tips you’ll be filling the hole in your heart that was left by last semester’s finals quicker than you can say, “Can I have your number?”
Pick your poison
Ideally, your summer fling will be someone who you find yourself attracted to. For your sake, I hope the feeling is mutual. There are a few criteria you should be mindful of. First off, they can’t be your friend. An acquaintance at most is what we’re looking for here. Close friends turned lovers is never a casual or short-term encounter. Besides, getting to know someone is one of the best parts of the summer fling experience.
Next, you can’t be close to them physically. That’s not to say you can’t go to Pound Town with your new boo — that’s up to you guys. But not being able to separate yourself from said boo once the summer sun sets is a big problem. If there’s any chance you might be seeing a lot of them in the near future, don’t start anything to begin with. Friend of a not-so-close friend? Sweet. Are you both back home from different schools? Perfect. Someone you met at a Fourth of July party? Sure. Work colleague? No. An ex? Definitely not. Are you even listening?
Finally, make sure you actually like this person. Just because they fit the criteria doesn’t ensure a match made in casual heaven. Hitting it off is a great sign, but make sure you truly want to spend the next two or three months of your life getting to know them and having some fun.
Be forward
If you want this to happen you might have to step outside your comfort zone a bit. This is a summer fling, after all, and there’s not a whole lot of time to waste. If you want that monsoon cuddle-buddy, act fast. Make your move and see what happens. If they don’t reciprocate your feelings, move along and keep your eyes peeled. If they do, be honest from the get-go. It should be clear that you’re not looking to make anything Facebook official.
Additionally, if you have any baggage, lay it out on the table. If you just got out of a relationship or things are complicated with another person, say so. They deserve to know. So do you. Especially if you plan on being each other’s play-things for the next couple of months.
Enjoy yourself
With all this love in the air, don’t forget to actually have fun. Summer flings aren’t about the serious talks or meeting the family. Go out and do some fun stuff. Hit the beach, go on a hike or take a road trip. If you’re not the adventurous or outdoorsy type, then just stay inside, marathon some cheesy movies, throw popcorn in each other’s mouths and have a tickle fight. Whatever it is you two find entertaining, do it — even if it is just for each other.
Don’t expect too much/too little
It doesn’t need to be said that this isn’t a normal relationship. Keeping things casual emotionally means that you don’t necessarily have to be in constant contact or with one another. If that’s just how you two roll, be my guest — otherwise, they’ll see you as a stage-six clinger and go running for sanctuary while you’re left out to dry in the summer heat. That being said, you should expect some form of longevity. A summer fling is not a one-night-stand and should not be treated as such. Keep in touch and be open about prior commitments, travel plans and busy schedules. Individuality should be praised, but don’t be a stranger.
Flings are more like vacations from single life than actually moving to Commitment City. While you’re there, follow the rules. Just know that you’ll be flying back to reality soon enough.
Heels-over-head
Now for the elephant in the proverbial room: don’t fall in love. At least try not to. If there’s a remote possibility you and your fling can and might actually develop into something more (and you BOTH feel this way), then good luck. But if this is a true summer fling, heavy feelings are a huge no-no. Keep it light and easy-going. Sweet nothings are fine but “I love you” texts are a warrant for evacuation. That goes for both of you. Flings are an easy way for feelings to get hurt so don’t fall in love and become the poster-child for the heartbreak club. Don’t wear your heart on your sleeve; leave it in your chest.
Summer vacation can be the best of times or the worst of times. Good luck finding your fish and may the odds be ever in your favor. Happy hunting, everyone.
