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The Daily Wildcat

The Daily Wildcat

 

    Super Cool News: The idiot’s guide to getting out of taking your SO to the fair

    An+overhead+view+of+the+Pima+County+Fair+in+2015.+While+many+enjoy+the+fair%2C+its+imperative+to+also+have+an+excuse+when+your+significant+other+asks+to+go.
    RCS / Pima County Fair
    An overhead view of the Pima County Fair in 2015. While many enjoy the fair, it’s imperative to also have an excuse when your significant other asks to go.

    Super Cool News is a Daily Wildcat feature that shares the, yes, coolest news happening around town and around the country. Try not to take what its writers have to say too literally.

    Well everyone, it’s that time of year again. The Pima County Fair has arrived, and only about a week after Spring Fling, because it obviously makes sense to have the two biggest annual carnivals in the Tucson area occur within days of each other.

    With the fair here, we all know what that means. Your darling significant other will soon start begging you to take them. And why wouldn’t you want to, honestly? Well, maybe because of what’s available at the fair. There’s the option to eat disgusting food, wait in ridiculously long lines for rides that last a matter of minutes and embarrass yourself in front of your SO when you fail to win that huge stuffed animal dog. Most importantly, there’s the chance to spend God only knows how much money.

    To you, the reasonable one in the relationship, this all makes sense. You can see through the fair facade for what it really is. Unfortunately, your other half will prove not nearly as easy to convince. Better find a way out ASAP.

    As a no-brainer, of course, you can always pretend to feel sick. Take a trip to Taco Bell on the night before. Or simply lie. Remember, use apologies as your best friend:

    “I’m sorry babe, I just don’t think I’m going to be able to make it. I feel terrible though. I promise I’ll make it up to you.” Memorize this phrase. It may become your only hope.

    Some folks are not so fortunate, like one student who recently admitted to making plans that involved taking his girlfriend to the fair this weekend.

    “I don’t know what I was thinking, it seemed so far away at the time. Now we’re only a couple days out. I need an excuse not to go, badly.” That poor, poor soul. This student wished to remain anonymous, just in case his girlfriend reads The Daily Wildcat.

    You probably took your significant other to Spring Fling the other weekend, but please forgive yourself for that. We all have our weak moments. Luckily, using this as an excuse at the right time with the right amount of guilt thrown in may prove just enough to avoid going to a fair all over again .

    The whole “too much homework” excuse may prove another solid option for some. The fair becomes the only time during the entire semester where you rejoice over having a test that week. Tell your special someone you “really have to study” this weekend, and hopefully he or she will take the hint.

    This may prove hard to hear, but some may actually have no choice but to go to the fair. If your relationship is on the line, you should probably just go to the fair (although that is not an easy call to make by any means). If it looks as though you really can’t escape the peril, just bear down and try your best to get through it. But, for God’s sake, at least go on wristband night.


    Follow Alec Kuehnle on Twitter


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