Think before you ink

When it comes to tattoos, the question we should be asking ourselves is not “”Why would he/she get that?”” but rather “”Why in the hell would a tattoo artist agree to tattooing that?”” Honestly, tattoo artists have to be the biggest assholes known to mankind. The shit they pull is unreal.

Don’t believe me? Simply Google “”Ugly tattoos”” and you’ll see what I am talking about. The amount of asshole-ness that went into transforming a belly button into the butthole of the cat you just tattooed on someone’s beer gut is unfathomable.

You can’t put all of the blame on tattoo artists though. They’re simply cashing in on society’s stupidity. It is their duty to respect the wishes of their clients, whether it be with a cartoon character on a shoulder blade, the name of a significant other in a heart on the chest or better yet, a butterfly on the small of a back. If you can dream it, a tattoo artist can do it.

And they will do it with little concern about the consequences. Misspelled Bible verses or lyrics are hardly the problem of a tattoo artist. They don’t have to wake up everyday with a tattoo of a possessed child staring back at them in the mirror (poor Amber from “”Teen Mom””).

So, save yourself the embarrassment before getting your next ink by double checking that your four-leaf clover indeed has four leaves, because we all know your tattoo artist won’t say anything, and what would be more embarrassing than trying to justify your three-leaf clover tattoo?

— Mallory Hawkins is a communication senior.

Tattoos are a Facebook status you can’t change

Looking for a quick way to end a relationship? Trying to find a reason to hate someone you really like?  How about just looking for a mistake you’ll regret everyday for the rest of your life? Then you sound like a perfect candidate for a tattoo. Tattoos just have the uncanny ability to doom an otherwise happy relationship, and turn what seemed like a fantastic idea into a horrible story to explain years later. Think you and your high school sweetheart were meant to be together forever? Get her name tatted across your chest and she’ll leave you in a week. Really love your frat? Get their letters tattooed across your back and three years from now you’ll be riddled with the horrible memory of your initiation. Maybe you just really like tribal arm bands. Get a tribal armband wrapped around your bicep and 6 months from now you’ll come to the realization that you, in fact, have no indigenous descent anywhere in your bloodline. Of course, not all tattoos are a bad idea, but every time I see a name or, God forbid, a face tattoo I can’t help but cringe. If names and creepy face tattoos weren’t bad enough, don’t forget about all those classy individuals with their “”tramp stamps”” — er, I mean lower back tattoos. Don’t forget those “”sick”” barbed wire bicep tats.

With all of that in mind, it’s just hard to convince me that a tattoo is a good idea. My generation can’t even be satisfied with a Facebook status for more than six hours, how are we supposed to settle on a tattoo that we’ll enjoy for the rest of our lives?

— Storm Byrd is a political science sophomore.