PlatinumWeird, as the name might suggest, definitely has a weird backstory. For example, they say they were formed in 1974. This is not true.

The band was actually formed in 2004, and much of its “”background”” is all a hoax. The band claims that all of the tracks on their second album, Make Believe, were “”previously unreleased”” tracks from 1974.

PlatinumWeird is a collaboration between Dave Stewart of the Eurythmics and vocalist Kara DioGuardi. Other than the vocalist not being all too bad, the band doesn’t have much going for them.

It’s mostly just bad folksy pop rock that belongs more in the ’70s or ’80s than in 2006. The haunting melody in “”Lonely Eyes”” is created by the Styx-like electronic keyboards and guitar in the forefront of the song. And in the track “”Will You Be Around,”” DioGuardi’s falsetto is akin to the voice of Cher.

Yet in the song “”Make Believe”” she sounds more like Pat Benatar, and the girl on the album cover even looks like Farrah Fawcett.

This music belongs on bad soft rock stations, or maybe that show “”Delilah: Love Songs and Dedications,”” along with the rest of the soft rock flock: Heart, Fleetwood Mac, Selena, etc.

Overall, this band is just not good. It’s cool how they made up a story about themselves, though.

-Amy Wieseneck

From all of the hype surrounding My Chemical Romance’s latest album (a flashy death-parade music video on MTV and numerous band interviews), it seems that My Chemical Romance has cooked up a dramatic show designed to disguise the fact that The Black Parade is mediocre at best.

The first song, titled “”The End”” (perhaps a cue to listeners to throw this CD out the window before you listen to the rest), sounds like a lousy country ballad vomited by singer Gerard Way. The rest of the album is a slew of typical My Chemical Romance sound, although the songs are hard to tell apart and seem to bleed into one long plea for more antidepressants.

The urgent guitar solos sound like the guitarists were screaming for attention and highly caffeinated, culminating in an entire CD that sounds like the soundtrack to a movie that lacks plot but has two hours of high-speed car chases. Unlike their previous release, Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge, The Black Parade lacks catchy songs worthy of being hit singles.

The only song that is good enough to have stuck in your head is “”Teenagers,”” in which Gerard Way expresses his terror of teenagers because, in his opinion, they will beat you up and not care.

Lucky for you, another selling feature of this brightly packaged empty box is that the CD jacket folds out into a poster. This can be aptly placed on your wall, giving My Chemical Romance more publicity and letting everyone know how maniacal your music taste is.

My Chemical Romance’s songs beat listeners over the head with the fact that we will all die. This is true, so I recommend not wasting your time listening to MCR.

-Alexandria Kassman