Navy wins battle with Somali pirates

Though they’re an ever-present cultural phenomenon, we don’t think of pirates as being much of a problem these days, illegal downloading aside. But headlines like “”Obama must get tough on pirates”” were no joke this week, with the first major attack on a U.S. vessel by pirates, reportedly, since Thomas Jefferson sent the Navy to knock some sense into the Barbary pirates back in 1801. The crew of the cargo ship Maersk Alabama successfully fended off a gang of pirates after they were attacked on Wednesday off the coast of Somalia, but their captain, Richard Phillips, was taken hostage. He was rescued by the U.S. Navy yesterday after a five-day standoff, safe and sound. With piracy reportedly on the upsurge and the rest of Somalia’s marauders still defiantly at large, we’d better gear ourselves up for some major pirate action.

For reminding us all what genuine courage looks like, the captain and crew of the Maersk Alabama get a hearty yea (or should that be a yar?).

Would you like pickles with that?

We’ve got 99 problems, and Jay-Z’s one. As the Daily Wildcat reported Friday, a public records request revealed that the hip-hop superstar included a list of elaborate demands to go along with the $750,000 he’s pocketing from his upcoming concert at Arizona Stadium. Among other things, he wants seven dressing rooms, matching end tables, banquet tables, a humidifier, an ironing board, four folding chairs, two loaves of bread, and a full-length mirror. If it sounds like he asked for everything but his own private bathroom, you’d be wrong: He asked for that too (the UA turned him down). Don’t get us wrong; it’s not that we begrudge the man “”a jar of good quality grape jelly.”” But considering how much he’s getting for this appearance, would it be too much to ask the millionaire rapper to provide his own mirror and love seat?

Jay-Z gets a nay for acting out the prima donna celebrity stereotype to perfection.

Banks doing better than we thought?

We haven’t seen the word “”economy”” used in a cheerful sentence in a while, but our national mood received a much-needed shot in the arm Thursday, courtesy of Wells Fargo. The San Francisco-based bank forecast a record $3 billion profit, sending the stock market spiraling ceiling-ward. The same day, Bank of America reported that its mortgage business was “”on fire.”” The news sparked a palpable surge in optimism among the financial crowd. “”The banking industry, broadly speaking, seems to be in better shape than many people think,”” declared the New York Times. After all the gloom and doom we’ve been hearing for the last year, this was welcome news. Could the dreaded recession finally be on the way to extinction?

It’s probably too soon to celebrate, but Wells Fargo gets an OK for giving us what might well prove to be the first flicker of light at the end of this economic tunnel.

Rain a reminder of streets’ shortcomings

Rain and wind swept the city of Tucson Saturday, interrupting the evening’s UA softball game and causing everyone to run for cover. It was a welcome shower, but driving around in it reminded us of one of our least favorite aspects of Tucson: our roads. Even dry, they’re cracked and riddled with potholes; wet, they’re a nightmare to navigate. (It doesn’t help that the majority of Tucson drivers evidently dozed through that part in the driver’s manual where they tell you how to drive in the rain.)

Our drainage system isn’t much better: After about half an hour of rain, every inch of the street that isn’t a hill has turned into a wash. And how is that, despite the fact that you can’t drive anywhere without passing city workers working on one road or another, the roads never seem any better? Perhaps it’s just the nature of living in a sprawling, overheated city during an economic downturn, but we wish the city government would push this issue a tad higher on its priority list. Tucson’s streets get a nay.

– Editorials are determined by the Daily Wildcat opinions board and written by one of its members. They are Justyn Dillingham, Laura Donovan, Daniel Greenberg, Taylor Kessinger and Heather Price-Wright.