Note: Super Cool News is a Daily Wildcat feature that shares the, yes, coolest news happening around town and around the country. Try not to take what its writers have to say too literally.
If anyone has noticed the giant structures that have slowly begun taking shape on the UA Mall during the past few days, then that person knows that Spring Fling 2017 will soon arrive.
Spring Fling is one of the biggest, most fun, most inconvenient events to take place on the UA campus throughout the year. It’s an event difficult to avoid due to how hyped some people get over it, as well as all the Spring Fling marketing materials on display around campus.
The excitement of all the rides, games and deliciously fried food offered by Spring Fling can seem very enticing, but unfortunately, as with everything worth it in life, Spring Fling gets pricey.
RELATED: Super Cool News: People still read books
Attendees will soon find entire paychecks lost to the world of fried Oreos and Ferris Wheels, with no real recollection of how this came to be.
Luckily, there are ways to survive Spring Fling weekend without completely breaking the bank. So make sure to take these tips into account, before it’s too late:
First of all, you should make sure to minimize spending in the days leading up to a Spring Fling arrival. Maybe going out on Friday night can be better spent staying indoors watching Netflix. Maybe taking an Uber can be better spent riding a bike. You get the idea.
It is also a good idea to minimize food intake for the days leading up to Spring Fling. Not only is this another way to save money, but fasting beforehand will ensure you have no food whatsoever in your stomach to throw up when riding the gigantic drop ride. It’s a win-win situation for you, your stomach and the people on the ground in the so-called “splash zone.”
Some students may be perfectly capable of handling Spring Fling on their own and managing to have a good time without overdoing it, but for those of us in relationships, we have another factor to worry about.
At this point, your darling significant other has most likely begun pestering you about Spring Fling. When are we going? What will we do there? Should we wear matching outfits in case we get lost? These are no doubt only some of the questions that have recently come from that special someone.
For this scenario, you have a few options: You could always pull the classic “I think we need a break” routine shortly before you intend to attend Spring Fling, then just give the significant other a call Monday morning after the carnival and give the classic “I made a huge mistake and I want you back” routine. It’s absolutely fool-proof.
RELATED: Super Cool News: How to make the most of a spring break in Tucson
But, if you don’t want to play with your significant other’s emotions in this way, another solid option may be a Spring Fling contract. All you have to do is draw up a basic contract that explains in detail the plans you two have for the Fling, including how many rides you will ride, how many games you will play, how much food you will eat and what time you will stay. This way, you ensure a plan for the weekend with zero wiggle room, allowing you to know exactly what you are getting into prior to even walking through the Spring Fling entrance. Also, make sure your significant other signs the contract, or else it will not be enforceable in a court of law.
Despite the cost, the possible inconvenience that it may cause to your route to class and the fact that the attractions don’t seem to change much from year to year, Spring Fling is unbelievably fun, which is why you will most likely ignore everything I just said and fully embrace Spring Fling. After all, we’re nothing but naïve college students and there is a gigantic carnival taking place on our campus. Can we really be expected not to attend?
Follow Alec Kuehnle on Twitter.