An open letter to the UA’s Democratic voters

I’d like to preface this letter by thanking each and every person who voted, regardless of who for or how you voted. You are all extremely important to the democratic process, even if I may disagree with most of you on a lot of issues.

Now that the pleasantries are out of the way, I can commence with the victory speech.

To those students who vandalized my dorm room door after the 2008 election, know this: I know who you are and I choose not to return the favor. I will be the better man and this letter will be the only revenge I take. I’m better than you.

To Democratic voters in general, thank you for electing the one man who could singlehandedly destroy the gains the Democratic Party made in the 2006 congressional elections. Republicans can always count on the Democratic Party to be self-destructive and you proved us right. For that, I am eternally thankful.

To Republican voters, congratulations on your hard-fought victories. Not all of us won, as I know particularly well, as my congressman in California won quite handily but I had to sit by to watch California forget the past and reelect a failed governor in Jerry Brown and a failed senator in Barbara Boxer. However, Arizona voters defeated Terry Goddard and Rodney Glassman, and for the few months of my time remaining in Arizona before graduation, I know that besides Tucson’s representatives, I will be represented well.

To all of the people who predicted that the 2008 election was the end of the conservative movement, I say that we are back and we are back with a vengeance. We will not be going away soon and we will work hard to increase our gains in two years’ time. America has acknowledged the mistakes that the Democrats made and they won’t make the mistake of putting them back in power so soon.

I am a proud conservative Republican. Many students at the UA may look down on me for that, but for now, I am looking down on you from the pedestal of victory.

— Kevin Wos, Political science senior