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The Daily Wildcat

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The Daily Wildcat

The Daily Wildcat

 

    On the spot

    We saw pre-veterinary sciences sophomore Janelle Sharber while she was standing in front of Grand Central Clothing on East University Boulevard.

    Wildcat: You’re on the spot. Can you spare 75 cents?

    Sharber: Currently, I don’t think I have 75 cents.

    W: Do you have more or less than 75 cents?

    S: I have a bunch of pennies. I only carry credit cards.

    W: Can you give me one of your credit cards?

    S: No.

    W: OK, just give me one of those pennies.

    S: OK, you can have them. I hate pennies.

    W: Oh, thank you.

    S: I might have a dime or two in here.

    W: Oh yeah. Sorry, I’m homeless. I’ll just take these. I’ve been traveling across the country and I need some money for a bus fare to get back home.

    S: Oh yeah.

    W: Yeah. Can you buy me something?

    S: Like what?

    W: Like food or alcohol. Are you 21?

    S: I’m actually not 21, so I can’t.

    W: Can you buy me a dress?

    S: I actually have a date in five minutes, so that would take more than five minutes.

    W: Oh you’re right. Could you buy me something that would take less time?

    S: I don’t think there is anything that I could buy you that would take less time. Time is money.

    W: Yeah, I’m an orphan. Oh wait, I think I’m receiving a text message. Just a minute.

    S: OK. You’re homeless and you have a phone?

    W: Yeah. Well I was thinking about selling my phone so I could have a place to live in, but then I realized that my cell phone payments are miniscule compared to that. It’s just hard when you’re addicted to drugs. Who’s that girl? She looked like one of my friends. I think she was wearing an American Apparel shirt, but I’m not sure. Cause, I go in there sometimes. I guess I should put these pennies in my purse. (Opens a purse that’s filled with cash and then drops tape recorder.)

    S: Oh no, hopefully those pennies can buy a new one.

    W: I guess I have too much money in here, so it won’t fit. (Quarters fall on the ground.) Oh my quarters! I use those to do my laundry!

    S: It’s a good thing they’re mostly just pennies.

    W: Anyway, so how do you feel about the situation in Iraq?

    S: I don’t really pay attention to it, to be completely honest.

    W: Did you watch any of the debates?

    S: No, I don’t have time to watch T.V.

    W: Yeah, neither do I.

    – Andi Berlin

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