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Living in De-Nile: Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak and Vice President Omar Suleiman both addressed protesters yesterday, telling them their voices would be heard and their demands would be met. Uh … yeah, guys. If the protestors had what they wanted, you wouldn’t be making speeches. Maybe the thousands of people shouting, “”Get out”” should have made you privy to that piece of information.

Geriatric gunmen: A 53-year-old man, whom authorities dubbed “”The Granddad Bandit,”” is negotiating a plea deal after being arrested on suspicion of robbing 25 banks in 13 states. Police officials said that in surveillance tapes, the man could often be seen gesturing to his waistband as if he had a gun, though it was not clear if he actually did. I wonder if he did the same thing to keep those damn kids from skateboarding on the sidewalks.

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Congressional Clothing: Rep. Christopher Lee (R-N.Y.) may not be the same Christopher Lee who starred in the “”Lord of the Rings”” films, but he certainly did his best imitation of Saruman the White after posting pictures of himself flexing in a bathroom mirror in response to a Craigslist advertisement. Lee has since resigned as a result. Just a word of advice, dude, if you have to post half-naked pictures of yourself on the internet (hint: you don’t) then at least do something a little more tasteful then a MySpace “”picture of self in mirror.””

Just a while for Kyl: Sen. Jon Kyl (affectionately referred to as “”Arizona’s other Senator””) announced he would not seek reelection in 2012. Kyl also said he is not interested in a potential cabinet position should a Republican become president, nor does he have any further political aspirations aside from a potential vice-presidential bid, which he said is unlikely. Shocking news, to be true, but at least no one’s found any pictures of him on Craigslist … yet.