If you’ve seen the trailer for “”Taken”” (aka “”Commando Qui-Gon-Jinn””, aka “”Grand Theft Daughter: Paris””), then you already know how the movie plays out. Liam Neeson’s character, Bryan Mills, summarizes it best:

“”If you let my daughter go now, that’ll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don’t, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you.””

Gee, I wonder what happens next…

But one does not go to an action movie expecting Shakespearian plot arcs or stirring character development; one goes to see Liam Neeson kick some ass-and in that respect, “”Taken”” delivers exactly what it promises. If you aren’t acquainted with the film, here’s how it starts:

Neeson: “”Boy, it sure sucks being an ex-CIA agent with a haunting past and alienated family. I should try and win back my daughter’s affection now that I’m not killing terrorists for a living.””

Neeson’s duaghter: “”Thanks for coming to my birthday party, dad! I love the karaoke machine you got me; material possessions more than make up for all those years you neglected me!””

Neeson: “”No problem, sweetie.””

Famke Janssen: “”As your overbearing ex wife, it’s my job to be a bitch and undermine all of your attempts to be a good father. Here, honey: mommy and her wealthy new lover got you a pony!””

Daughter: “”Wow, mom! You’re much better than dad!””

Neeson: *sigh*

(later)

Daughter: “”Dad! My irresponsible teenage girlfriend and I want to spend a month in Paris! Can we go, please, can we?!””

Neeson: “”You must be out your damn mind. Two teenage girls alone in Paris? You’re just begging to be…Taken.””

Jansenn: “”Stop smothering her! She wont get…Taken.””

Neeson: “”Fine. But this better not end with me killing a bunch of Albanian sex traffickers.””

Daughter: “”No problem, daddy! I’ll be fine!””

(later)

Daughter: “”Dad, help! I’ve been…Taken!””

Neeson: *sigh*

And so on in that fashion. By now, you can probably tell if Taken is your kind of movie. Is the draw of a refined gentleman like Liam Neeson breaking limbs, extorting criminals, shooting Parisian civilians, and chasing a crime lord’s yacht with a sedan through oncoming traffic worth the tired storyline and offensively low-brow one-liners? Absolutely.

Rating: 3 out of 5 stars