Earlier this week, John Kerry proved that it’s better to say nothing than to say something stupid. As a part of California candidate Phil Angelides’ campaign, he advised a group of college students, “”You know, education, if you make the most of it, you study hard, you do your homework and you make an effort to be smart, you can do well. If you don’t, you get stuck in Iraq.”” Though Kerry’s later explanation (the statement was intended to be a jibe at President Bush rather than the intelligence of our troops) is somewhat plausible, he has handled the situation gracelessly. He issued an “”I’m-sorry-you’re-so-unreasonable”” apology, stating, “”I sincerely regret that my words were misinterpreted.”” Though the firestorm surrounding the comment has been excessive, it never should have been made in the first place – and if it was just a “”botched joke,”” as Kerry claims, his apology should have been immediate and sincere. For his foot-in-mouth-itis and following oafishness, Kerry gets a fail.
The women’s basketball team made a slam dunk from the 3-point line when members gave their time back to the city and the UA community. Through brute strength, will and desire, the women contributed to bettering lower-income families by painting, speckling and crafting homes with the Tucson chapter of Habitat for Humanity. Not only did they build homes, they publicized the charity. Even more, they helped show how cool volunteering can be for their youthful fans. For the sweet alley-oop, the women’s basketball team earned themselves an assist, and a pass.
Daytime TV legend Bob Barker announced this week that he plans on retiring this year at the age of 83. After 35 years of telling contestants to “”come on down”” on perennial favorite “”The Price Is Right,”” Barker has decided that it’s time for him to enjoy some well-deserved rest and leisure. But what about when we want to enjoy our own leisure time? We’re frankly quite depressed at the idea of a Barker-less daytime TV line-up. In a press conference announcing his departure from TV-land, Barker said that he would continue to act in movies but refused to do nude scenes, explaining, “”these Hollywood producers want to capitalize on my obvious sexuality, but I don’t want to be just another beautiful body.”” (Seriously.) He also told interviewers that he would spend the first few weeks of his retirement finding out “”what it feels like to be bored.”” Well, so will we. For taking the time that he truly deserves, but leaving his adoring audiences in the lurch, we give Bob Barker’s retirement a fail.
It’s not often we like to admit that ASU is doing better at something than we are, but sometimes, credit must be given where credit is due: Their Sun Dollars vastly outstrip our CatCards in usefulness at area merchants. Sure, it’s great to stop in the union for some On-Deck Deli, but who hasn’t wished he could grab a bite to eat at La Salsa or the Fat Greek with CatCard dollars too? The Marshall foundation, which owns most of the leases on University Boulevard, will be working with ASUA over the next few weeks to draft a plan for CatCard accessibility on University Boulevard. It remains to be seen whether UA authorities will jump at the plan, but Marshall’s intention to arrange donations from CatCard-accepting merchants to the university bodes well for them. For its convenience and the fact that we’d like ASU to stop beating us on this issue, this plan gets a pass.
