It’s true that the Student Union Memorial Center is shaped like a boat if you use your imagination a little. But it’s safe to assume that you don’t remember much of your campus tour, and that adorable little tidbit won’t do you any good when you start classes. Let the Arizona Summer Wildcat Campus Guide walk you through your first semester instead.
If you’re living in the dorms, work out your differences early. Figure out sleep routines, how much your roommate talks on the phone and each other’s food preferences so that you know who to blame for a smelly refrigerator. When you know all that nonsense right away, it’s less likely that you will fly into a rage in the middle of the semester over whose turn it is to take out the trash.
If you’re commuting, be alert when you’re in the parking garages. You never know when some jerk is going to disregard the arrows and come screaming around the corner in a direction he’s not supposed to go. Getting hit by a car is not the ideal way to begin college.
It’s going to be hot. Really hot. Obviously, bring a bottle of water with you. But also, be generous with the deodorant. You do not want to be that guy.
It might not happen on your first day or on your 300th, but one day it is going to rain, especially as monsoon season winds down. The flip flops that were so weather-appropriate when you got dressed suddenly have no traction against the wet tiles in front of many of the buildings. Do you risk creating a scene by falling all over the front steps of the Social Sciences building, or do you take your shoes off? You might be surprised, but people really do just go with the latter choice.
Do not fear getting lost on your quest for a specific building. It probably won’t even happen, thanks to the number of times you pull out a map of campus. But do pay attention to the signs inside buildings. Looking for an even-numbered room will be difficult if you’re in the wing with all the odd-numbered rooms. Harvill, I’m looking at you.
If you do get lost, it really is OK to ask someone to point you in the right direction. They will judge you more if you spend 10 minutes staring at a map and looking up every few seconds in confusion.
However, do beware of asking the visiting campus preachers. Regardless of the state of your soul, you do not want to be told just how much you look like you’re whoring around when all you’re trying to do is get to the Student Union Memorial Center.
Most importantly, always keep your chin up and walk like you know where you’re going, even when you don’t. You’ll create an illusion of collegiate confidence, even if you fail to heed the rest of this advice.
