Being stranded around campus after drinking a few too many beers can be brutal. What’s worse is the looming possibility of getting a DUI when you decide to drive home after a celebratory first week back at school.
So, why not take a cab? Besides the stereotype that they are all dirty and driven by creepy old men, they are handy for carpooling and making sure you don’t tarnish your (hopefully) flawless police record.
The WildLife staff set out on Saturday night in three teams of two or three for the battle of all battles: a cab race between Allstate Cab Co., Jeannie’s Van and Taxi Service and Yellow Cab. The cab companies remained clueless as we judged them on the time it took to pick us up and drive us, the cost of the ride, the cab experience and anything else we felt necessary to mention to readers.
We hope this will not only aid you in your decision for picking a cab, but will also lend to a safe and comfortable experience as you party it up during your first week back.
Team breakdown:
Team Awesome: Jeannie’s Van and Taxi Service, 889-8294
Team Cheagle (the ingenious merging of the speed-thrifty cheetah and the ever-elusive golden eagle): Allstate Cab Co., 798-1111
Team S (we won’t define what the “”S”” stands for, use your imagination): Yellow Cab, 624-6611
Destination A: Old Pueblo Trolley, Main Gate Square, to Plush, 340 E. Sixth St.
Team Awesome: The ever-illustrious trolley beckoned to us before we began our cab excursions. The Old Pueblo Trolley, operating off and on for more than 100 years, sticks to a simple route by running from East University Boulevard to North Fourth Avenue. With its plush seats and advertisements in Japanese, it is a nice and amusing alternative to making the short, but sweaty walk. Although we arrived on University at 10:40 p.m. and weren’t picked up until 10:53 p.m., the measly $1 fee was worth it. Of course, with something this cheap, there is a drawback. The electric trolley operates only on weekends.
Team Cheagle: When we boarded the trolley along with our competitors, we suffered a slight setback: they wouldn’t make change for a $100 bill. We offered to ride the trolley 100 times to get our money’s worth, but they wouldn’t have it. The coolest part about the trolley is the colorful, vintage advertisements stretched above the windows like one of a cartoon Hitler that says “”Burma Shave: Buy more war bonds.”” It got even stranger when the trolley driver told us about the time they hit a kid talking on his cell phone and the whole trolley had to be towed away.
Team S: Adamant about using the trolley, we decided that we would start on University and ride it down to Fourth Avenue, a Mecca for bars in Tucson. The trolley swayed gently back and forth as we headed down University towards Fourth. It is reminiscent of a New York City subway car, but with a retro twist.
Destination B: Plush to The Shelter, 4155 E. Grant Road
Team Awesome: Upon leaving Plush, pandemonium ensued as all three teams (after a couple of cran-vods) called their respective cab companies. Our team was promptly picked up at 11:52 p.m. after receiving a 5-7 minute prospective wait. Not only did a talkative man named John pick us up on time, but also in a spacious, un-smelly van. John was familiar with our destination and didn’t need directions. The 13-minute, six-mile trip cost us $17.50 plus a tip, for a total of $20. Apparently a $4 flag drop lends to an expensive ride.
Team Cheagle: Our cab driver seemed more intoxicated than we were. He almost ran over a member of our team, not once but twice, until he finally heard our screaming and stopped the car. On our way he told us that he had been driving a cab for a year, but before then he had been in “”upholstery.”” We thought it was code for “”selling meth,”” especially after he had to radio the directions after we told him where the place was. But as a whole, the ride was good because it took eight minutes and cost only $11.80 without tip, allowing us to arrive first at The Shelter.
Team S: We called our cab company at 11:47 p.m. The call was answered by an annoyed receptionist with a hearing problem. She asked what address we were located at – to which we replied that we were on the southwest corner of Fourth Avenue and Sixth Street. After explaining four times, that we were at Plush, not at Blush, we were told that the cab would pick us up shortly. Upon entering the cab, we met Steve, who had a video playing of Def Leppard. Impressed, we asked if all cabs included this awesome feature. Steve told us that he put it in the cab to entertain himself. His chatter led to a quick and entertaining ride. The eight-minute, six-mile trip cost $12.
Destination C: The Shelter to Club Congress, 311 E. Congress St.
Team Awesome: A less-than-chatty cabby named Kenny picked us up eight minutes after our cab request at 12:51 a.m. Despite a lead foot and the Downtown maze of construction, he managed to get us to the club in 15 minutes. Perhaps Kenny’s awkward silence was due to his amusement with our drunken Spanish speaking skills; something that he is probably used to. Once again, a quick and efficient cab ride led us to another $20 bill as the ride cost $18.
Team Cheagle: We decided to stay longer at The Shelter to down another round of Pyramids. When we called at 1:03 a.m., we were told it would take 25 minutes for the cab to arrive. So, we stepped outside and waited. At 1:40 a.m., still nothing. Finally, we called Team S’s cab company and asked them to pick us up instead. Steve came in under 10 minutes. He had a video screen installed next to the steering wheel and was jamming to “”Small Town Girl”” by Journey. Forget Club Congress, we’d take a cab to this cab if it had alcohol, and if the other cab would pick us up. Riding with Steve cost us $16, plus a $4 tip.
Team S: After knocking over a knight by the bar and finding pornographic photos of a woman in the bathroom, we decided that it was time to go to Congress. After calling our cab at 12:50 a.m., we were picked up 10 minutes later by Philip. Though disappointed that there were no 80s rock videos, we enjoyed our ride to Congress after all. We arrived at Congress at 1:11 a.m. and paid our $16 fare.
Destination D: Club Congress to Grill, 100 E. Congress St., via foot
After closing the bar at Congress, hunger set in and the tator tots at Grill were sounding pretty filling. The walk was one to be expected when strolling Downtown at 2:15 a.m. – one staffer was complimented on her shirt by a crazy old lady in black lace-up boots.
Destination E: Grill to Park Student Union, 615 N. Park Ave.
After our staff was separated due to a designated driver lacking room in his car to take everyone safely home, the newly merged teams collectively called Allstate. When told that it would take 20 minutes to pick the group up, efficiency lured the group over the cheaper price tag. Jeannie’s was called at 3:08 a.m. and Kenny, the speed demon, arrived within three minutes, dropping the members off outside Park Student Union. The total for the four-minute ride came in at $8, resulting in a $2 tip.
Cab Recap:
Jeannie’s Van and Taxi Service might have been costly, but their efficiency made them a more desirable choice.
Yellow Cab had cheaper rates than Jeannie’s and more personable drivers. (Who doesn’t want to jam out to Eagles songs?)
Allstate Cab Co. had the least expensive rates of the night, but didn’t even follow through with one of the calls, prompting Team Cheagle to take a Yellow Cab.
Our words of wisdom: if you don’t care about cost and are in a rush, take Jeannie’s, but you can always count on Yellow Cab for a less expensive, and equally good time.
