I caught “”Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure”” on HBO this week and found it to be most excellent. While I’ve always remembered it fondly, I never believed for a second that anyone older than 12 could appreciate the immature humor. But it was fantastic and might be considered highbrow compared to the “”Dodgeball”” and “”Wedding Crashers”” of today. Keanu Reeves is on top of his game and nothing beats Napoleon splashing around the San Dimas water park, Waterloo. And no, I wasn’t stoned.

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes had their baby Tuesday and named it Sulu after that guy from “”Star Trek,”” but, of course, Cruise’s need for attention meant that that wouldn’t be the biggest news of the day. The biggest news was his plans to eat the placenta, as he told to GQ magazine. While this is a common practice among Quakers and rhinos, most celebrities go for champagne and caviar after birth. Cruise later said that he was misunderstood, and it’s probably the media’s fault for blowing it out of proportion. And yes, he was stoned.

So I went to Bruce Dogs the other night after reading about it in this very same Arizona Daily Wildcat. (For those who just read Scattershot, Bruce Dogs is a great late night hot dog stand at 5810 E. Speedway Blvd.) I’m heading back down Speedway, minding my own business, when I see a pig flashing lights in my rearview. I check the speedometer, see 42 and pull over reluctantly into a lot, right next to another unlucky driver with a motorcycle cop giving him a ticket. “”Officer, what’s the problem?””

“”Speed limit’s 35,”” he said.

“”You were at 47.””

35? Less than 40? The name of the street should determine how fast you can go, not the city’s speed limit.

Everyone must go check out the Arizona International Film Festival during the next week for great films from around the world and right here at UA. “”Life List”” is a really funny documentary made while filmmaker Tom Dunlap was a student last year, and “”Welcome to Lyle’s Gas ‘n Go”” by UA senior Joe Odea is a simple tale that shows how quickly life can take a turn. Best of all, both films are part of Wednesday’s 9:30 p.m. short program at The Screening Room. www.azmac.org

The Streets’ new album, The Hardest Way to Make an Easy Living, is now streaming at MySpace. Check out “”Two Nations.”” http://myspace.com/thestreets

Do you know which celebrity you look like? None. But feel free to indulge yourself and suspend disbelief by checking out My Heritage, where you can upload a photo and run it through their database to see if you look like one of 3,200 celebs from around the globe. Me? I look most like Tom Welling, who plays Superman on “”Smallville.”” I’d really love to believe that, but the second go around said Mr. Bean. Do it once folks, and move on. www.myheritage.com

“”I’m gonna eat the placenta.””

-Tom Cruise, apparently not realizing how badly the media might misinterpret this.