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The Daily Wildcat

The Daily Wildcat

 

Barbie and Ken: A contemporary love story ÿ

Got knocked off the saddle, did you? Lost because your relationship was so long you’ve become clueless to navigating the labyrinth of male-female interactions?

No worries. Five years after their devastating public breakup, Ken and Barbie are here to dispense their sage advice about getting back into the dating game.  

 

Ken’s Take: First and foremost, it’s over.

Your relationship has ended, and that’s the first thing you need to get through your head. Until you stop focusing on your previous relationship, you’re not going to get anywhere. If you find yourself comparing everything a new girl does to things your girlfriend used to do (or didn’t), you probably need to take a little extra time for yourself to defuse and regroup emotionally.

Be confident. If you’re not completely into the idea of you being worth a new girl’s attention, why should she be into you? If you just got out of a relationship, you managed to get one girl interested in you, so you’re probably not completely repulsive.  

Being yourself is really cool and all, but there’s a good chance that most of the girls in this world are not as deeply interested in your hobbies and life as you are. Do your best to adapt to conversations, talk about what the new girl is into and seem relatable enough to be considered for many conversations to come. That doesn’t mean you need to be fake, it just means you need to be flexible enough to talk about anything that will keep her talking to you.  

Branch out! You’re single now. Enjoy it. You can experiment with as many types of opportunities as you can talk yourself into. That means you shouldn’t limit yourself to pursuing one girl, either. One of the best perks of the single life is a lack of exclusivity. Don’t let yourself fall into the trap of just trying to date one girl because that’s what you’re used to. 

Don’t fear rejection. You’re going to strike out. Who cares! Your worst-case scenario is that some new girl you hit on thinks you’re weird, but then you’ve already dropped the ball, so what difference does it make? Plus, you won’t feel more comfortable doing something until you do it over and over again, so just throw out your line until something bites.

Have fun, be safe, have faith in yourself and try not to mention you took some dating advice from a doll. There’s a lot of women at the UA, and it’s only a matter of time before one of them finds you attractive enough to “”watch ‘Fight Club'”” with. 

     

— Remy Albillar is a junior majoring in English. He can be reached at letters@wildcat.arizona.edu

Barbie’s take: It’s a two-way street

The most difficult part of getting back into the dating game is actually having to play by the rules.  

According to Helen Fisher, author of ””The First Sex,”” games are the way to keep romance alive. “”Playing hard-to-get or leaving a little to the imagination allows the woman to be wooed and appreciated and the man to be challenged and intrigued.””

But it’s hard to jump back in the driver’s seat of the dating game after a serious relationship and follow the rules of the road, basically because it’s easy to forget how to drive. 

Girls are told not to answer a guys’ phone calls, not to text them back right away and to avoid the urge to give too much too soon.  

This road is called the “”the waiting game.”” Ellen Kreidman, author of “”Light His Fire”” says this “”separates the guys who just want you on a whim from the men who’ll put in the extra effort.”” 

The waiting game is a difficult but necessary method used so women appear to be a  “”catch”” rather than a “”convenience””. 

Lets’s be honest. One of the hardest parts about getting back into the game is delaying doing the  deed. When in a relationship, the prize is always waiting for you — in bed. But in the dating game, the rules are different. Sherry Argov, author of “”Why Men Love Bitches”” advises girls to resist hitting the sheets because “”it shows him that you’re worth the wait and effort.”” Obviously, though, guys wouldn’t mind hitting the sheets right away. 

When you choose to hold out on sex, it makes you appear to care who you actually wake up to the morning after. 

But to those girls looking to break the rules, playing the field for a bit won’t hurt. 

It may not be in the “”rule book,”” but there’s no problem giving yourself a break from one-on-one matches and settling for a few scrimmages. Besides, no one ever said rebound relationships were just a guy thing. 

Just don’t get caught sneaking out his window in the middle of the night. And don’t expect to see the relationship going anywhere. 

A rebound is a rebound.

You’re simply getting back in the game.  

   

— Tiffany Kimmell is journalism senior. She can be reached at

letters@wildcat.arizona.edu

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