Each week, the Daily Wildcat speaks with people on campus about Wildcat sports, professional sports and otherwise.
*Daily Wildcat: What are your guys’ names? *
David Wolfert: I’m actually the starting quarterback of the Arizona Wildcats.
Oh really? That’s funny. What’s your name?
D: Um, Eric Foles.
*So what are your names? *
David: David Wolfert.
Chris Hardman: Chris Hardman.
What’s the latest sports headline either of you have seen?
D: Raiders won last night, yeah.
C: That we completely blew it against Oklahoma State.
That’s the latest headline you’ve seen?
C: Yeah it is. That’s all that’s important.
D: I also saw a fortuneteller speak to The New York Times, saying that the Arizona Wildcats are going to shit on the Stanford Cardinals.
D: The Raiders had a triumphant win against the Denver Broncos and it was beautiful. They handled their business like I’m about to handle my business as a pre-business major.
If you both could go to the 2012 Olympics, what would you guys go for?
D: The Iron Man competition.
C: I would have to say the basketball team.
Why Iron Man and basketball team?
D: Because I want to get yolked.
C: Because I get to play with LeBron James.
Is he your boy?
C: He’s my boy, we’ve played before, no big deal.
You guys have heard of UFC fighting, right?
D: Oh, yeah.
Have you guys seen the new movie about UFC fighting? The “Warrior”?
C: I heard that was really good.
D: Would you recommend it to us?
*Yes, I would recommend it. *
C: You’ve seen it? Why didn’t you take us?
Maybe next time.
D: You could have been escorted by like, both of us, you know?
*So, if you guys were to fight each other in a UFC match, who would win? *
D: I mean, you could already tell right now that it would be easy. I would win, hands down, knock out in the first five seconds.
What would be your tactic, would you come at him throwin’ punches or doing kicks?
D: I would actually Molly-whop. It’s a Bay term that we use.
You need to describe this for me.
D: Molly-whopping is hitting something with extreme force in the face with your fist.
How does molly-whopping differ from any other punch?
D: Molly-whoppin’ is how you do it with Bay swag.
C: David thinks he’s hard because he’s from two different ghettos of the world, Walnut Creek and New York. However, he has some skinny little legs and I would just take those out.
D: OK, OK, we might need to cut this interview.
C: Boo, I’d take him out!
D: Look at the pythons, bro.
C: I think it would be over pretty quickly.
D: This is the best interview of your life huh? By the way, I’m working on my calves so it’s all good.
You guys volleyball fans?
D: We have two courts right there (pointing to beach courts). We are actually called Spike Lees.
Spike Lees?
D: Cause I spike so much.
So you’re a ninja spiker?
D: Exactly that.
C: Anyways, football games are dope. We get it super live, we talk to the players, they know us by first-name basis. I met the safety Robert G (Golden) and he says what’s up to me on Facebook all the time.
D: I doubt that.
Just like you and James are friends?
C: James?
Lebron?
C: Yeah, me and LeBron, and Rob, we kick it all the time.
What if there’s no NBA season?
C: Holy shit.
D: Don’t even go there.
C: There would be basically eight months of the year where nothing is happening.
What did you guys think of D-Will?
D: He was ballin’.
C: But he left at the wrong time.
D: Either stay one more year or the Warriors should have traded Monta Ellis for the second overall pick and got Derrick Williams on the Warriors. That just would have been swag right there, c’mon.
*I guess you need to use yours or Chris’ connections to call them up then? *
D: Maybe I should give them a call. Hold on, excuse me. I think we’re going to have to pause this interview real quick, I’m calling the Warriors.
