We looked up Preston Troy, a junior majoring in management and information systems, on Facebook and talked to him over AOL Instant Messenger.

Wildcat: What does the big ‘P’ (in big p 4 all) stand for? Is it python?

Troy: Naw, it’s one of my initials.

W: Oh, I thought it was a sexual thing.

T: Most people do.

W: What do you think about our modern perceptions of social justice?

T: Like what? Opening doors for women?

W: Like justice in Freudian terms, of a more general sweep … So opening the doors for women, yes.

T: Ummm. I think social justice is good. Just has to be careful that it’s not taken too far.

W: Yeah, me too.

T: I think we should all be equal.

W: Lol, haha.

T: Haha, it’s true.

W: Where do you see yourself in 10 years?

T: Married, most likely a kid, good job helping people with computers and making lots of money.

W: Is that all that’s important to you?

T: The family part, yes. Money, not so much.

W: Have you ever wanted to install a computer into your brain?

T: That would make life a lot easier, but seems sorta creepy sci-fi-ish.

W: What if you could have a fish for a brain? That’s not as sci-fi.

T: True, but I think it would start to smell bad.

W: I think that’s a little animalist, don’t you think? Lolololololololol.

T: No, even humans start to smell bad.

W: When?

T: So I’m being pretty social justicy. Well, if a person was in my brain and couldn’t shower they would start to smell bad. Like a fish out of water.

W: But you could shower, right?

T: Yeah, but I don’t like water in my ears.

W: That’s true. Would you ever kill a man for profit?

T: Not in real life.

W: But in a computer fantasy hologram?

T: Yep, as long as no one actually died.

W: What else would you do in a hologram, have unprotected sex?

T: Sure, unless you could get cyber STDs.

W: You might get viruses. But only if you have a PC.

T: Dang. A PC hologram maker. Those couldn’t exist. PCs only do spreadsheets and official stuff.

W: Lol, do you think they had Macs in Star Trek?

T: Well what other way could they make those hologram rooms? They’re too artsy to be PC made.

W: You’re right. Last question: What’s the saddest moment of your life?

T: The day my grandpa died.

– Andi Berlin