I see you have a longboard. Have you been watching the X Games?

Not really. I like the summer X Games more. I think they’re more entertaining than the winter X Games.

Do you think you’re going to watch the Olympics this month?

Probably not. Same thing with the Winter Olympics. They’re not as good as the Summer Olympics.

Well, in the Winter Olympics, you’ve got these guys that just push things along the ice. What’s that sport called?

Curling, I think.

Yes. Curling. That doesn’t fascinate you, watching things slide on the ice?

No. I’m not Canadian. They’re the only ones that think it’s a real sport. I’ve never met anyone who’s found that interesting.

Do you think winter sports are only for Canadians?

Or places where it gets that cold. I don’t know. I’m from Arizona, so I’m used to the summer sports.

If you were an Olympian, either summer or winter, what sport would you play?

Probably golf.

They play golf in the Summer Olympics?

In the next one there’s going to be golf.

I had no idea. Learn something new every day.

There you go. I’m glad I could inform you.

Do you play golf often?

I haven’t since school started, but back in high school I played all the time.

What do you think of all this Tiger Woods drama?

I think it’s stupid because it’s the first bad thing that he’s done in his ten years of fame. And I think they just blew it out of the water.

Well, to be fair, he’s probably been doing it for all ten years.

Yeah. I don’t know. It’s the whole cheating thing. I feel like if you’re going to cheat on someone, just leave them and go be with the other person. I don’t know why he didn’t just do that.

If you were a famous golfer like Tiger Woods, what would make you infamous?

I’d probably be the asshole on the tour.

How would you be an asshole?

Get inside their heads, make them miss and mess up.

Like Happy Gilmore?

(Laughs) No.

You’re not going to beat up Bob Barker like Happy Gilmore?

(Laughs) No. I’m fine with Bob Barker. Spay and neuter your pets!

— Katie Gault