It’s almost Halloween, get your costume!
What? You don’t have your costume yet? Not even an idea? You’d better just wait until next year, champ. I bet your favorite holiday is Arbor Day, you uninspired Communist.
If you’re not prepared for the single most important holiday in every student’s life, then you are just another guy on Oct. 31 in a hoodie and jeans, explaining how you are “”the abstract concept of God as one of us.”” Halloween is the time for all of us to express ourselves in ways normally restricted by social norms and inhibitions, to pull out all the stops and become a fearsome creature of the night. Or, if you’re a girl, to dress like you’re going to an important interview at the Bunny Ranch.
There are two formulas for awesome costumes on Halloween. If you are a guy, you must dress like a retro and ironic character from your youth, and put in the amount of effort equal to three Eagle Scout merit projects. Example: The giant ear of corn from “”All That,”” made to scale and composed of 10,000 real kernels of corn glued together.
If you’re a girl, the formula becomes: ((The cutest thing you can thing of + cleavage)-dignity). I’m sure that somewhere out there exists a “”Sexy Lady Spongebob”” suit. I’d Google it to be sure, but I’m scared.
Now use these formulas as a template, and get out there and get costumed. I’m hoping I’ll see even more full-sized Ghostwriters than usual, and even a few sexy Pikachus.
— Johnny McKay is a media arts senior.
What does my purse have to do with breast cancer?
I like it on the table.
My purse, that is. Not that my purse has anything to do with breast cancer. I just wanted you to notice my Facebook status, then refuse to explain what I mean by it even though it’s counter-productive to my intention of raising awareness.
The campaign to raise breast cancer awareness via Facebook update went viral last year, when women were invited to post one-word statuses about the color of their bras without explaining to men what the color signified. This year’s campaign asks women where they like to leave their handbags, and once again leaves men out of the loop. As if there’s no such thing as man purses. Also, as if men can’t contribute to breast cancer awareness.
The bra campaign was a huge success. Success, in this case, must be measured by how many men are left wondering about the logic of women. Or how many men think women are teases. No one cares about your purse, bud.
If you weren’t playing an immature game, people would care about breast cancer. You’d think this would be obvious, but you raise awareness about an issue by making people aware of what you’re talking about. Don’t confuse awareness with attention.
Also, you can learn more about National Breast Cancer Awareness Month and what you can do to actually help by visiting nbcam.org. Now that’s raising awareness.
— Kristina Bui is a sophomore majoring in journalism and political science.
Extending Bush tax cuts won’t fix economy
For some reason, people continue to doubt the fact that extending the Bush tax cuts will add to the deficit and instead rely on the debunked policy of supply-side economics. Since the presidency of Ronald Reagan, conservatives have argued that lower taxes will ultimately raise revenue due to increased consumption. This sounds nice, but administrations that adopted this policy have presided over huge deficits and low economic growth. The truth is that supply-side economics (or “”voodoo economics,”” according to former President George H.W. Bush) does not raise revenue. That relies on people actually spending the money they get back from the government, which history shows doesn’t happen. Even Alan Greenspan, Mr. Supply Side himself, has come out opposing the extention of the Bush tax cuts.
Why is the deficit so large? Because of the unfunded Bush tax cuts and two unfunded wars. The original tax cuts lowered government revenue while spending stayed the same. The stimulus and bailouts may have added to the deficit, but they didn’t cause it. After 30 years of people promoting the idea that tax cuts ultimately raise revenue and 30 years of proof that they don’t, you would think people would abandon this fallacy. I’m not opposed to tax cuts — nobody likes higher taxes — but the current call to extend the Bush tax cuts is the result of populist pandering and not sound economic policy.
— Andrew Shepherd is a political science senior.