Let’s talk Thanksgiving. What’s your whole strategy for Thanksgiving?

My strategy? Well, I’m not going home this year for the first time ever, so …

Really? Why?

Well, I live in Texas, so it’s kind of far away, but I’m going to Phoenix. My sister’s boyfriend lives out there, so I’m going to eat a lot of food.

OK. My strategy for turkey day is to get really full, watch football, take a nap and then get up and eat pie. What about you?

Yeah, football definitely. Football has to go in there. (Raises hands up) Go Cowboys! (Laughs)

What’s your favorite part of Thanksgiving? Is it the food, the football or the family?

Well, it’s always been the family, but not this year.

Did they vote you off the island or something? What happened?

Yeah, some of them did. (Laughs) Just kidding. No, I don’t know, but I still get to eat food so that’s OK.

What’s your favorite food?

Uh …

Like, it’s not Thanksgiving if I don’t get to eat blank.

Stuffing, stuffing, stuffing.

Everybody’s is a little different, so what do you guys put in your stuffing?

I have no idea. (Laughs)

No?

No. (Laughs) I don’t make it, my mom does.

So then what’s your contribution to Thanksgiving?

Eating.

That’s it?

Baking cookies.

What kind of cookies?

Uh (pauses) anything.

And it’s cookies and not pie or cake or anything like that?

We make pie too.

What types?

Everything. Pumpkin, apple. My mom always makes like five different pies.

So if your mom reads this, what would you tell her?

Uh (pauses) that I love her and miss her but I’m going to eat food anyway and it’s going to be good. (Laughs)

— Brian Kimball