College is traditionally a time of sexual activity and passion, but it’s important for incoming UA students to understand the difference between reality and legend when it comes to college and sex.
It’s a commonly held belief that college is a breeding ground—no pun intended—for sexual activity and that many students engage in seemingly consequence-free sexual acts with varying numbers of partners.
For some, this myth is closer to reality than legend. A home away from parents and little supervision are all that is required for relations to occur, but for most, the difference between high school and college relationships will be negligible at best.
The reality of college is that it isn’t a movie and there are repercussions to your actions.
Sexually transmitted diseases are an obvious negative repercussion of sexual relationships and roughly one in two students of the UA will develop an STD by the time they are 25, according to past reports from the Daily Wildcat.
The amount of information about how to engage in safe sex is staggering and can be neatly summarized here, but you’ve probably heard it before I would rather talk about the emotional and relational aspects of sex.
Sex is a complicated business, and my uneasiness in writing this only further supports my view. Nonetheless, I will try to continue on in an attempt to relate what I’ve learned in my time at the UA.
First and foremost, I don’t believe that sex is as important as it’s often made out to be. It can be a fun activity if you and your partner are both prepared and eager, but the pressure that’s commonly felt to engage in sexual activities for social reasons are often pressures which are placed on us by ourselves and not placed on us by others.
During your time at the UA, it may seem like everyone is having sex on a regular basis and because of this perception, you may feel like an outsider for not “joining in on the fun.” Those who participate in hook-up culture are part of a minority of students that are misinterpreted to be the majority.
In reality, 74 percent of students engage with less than two sexual partners a year, according to Campus Health Service student surveys.
To summarize as simply as I can: If you want to engage in sex and can find a willing partner—which can be difficult for us all sometimes—then do so. If you’re unsure if you’re ready—or aren’t feeling excited about your possibilities—then refrain from it.
Secondly, sex will change your relationship with your partner. While this is a possible tagline for an upcoming Katherine Heigl film, it’s also a reality that is rarely talked about.
The effect sex can have on a relationship is so varied that to list all the possibilities would take up more space then I could ever be given to write, but changes exist nonetheless. It’s very rare, in this writer’s estimation, for friends who engage in sexual activities to not have a change in their relationship. Often the changes are good. Sometimes they’re bad.
One of the most common changes that can occur between two friends who decide to engage in sex is that they simply start having a lot of sex, where previously they might have gone to see a movie or out to grab a beer to hang out. They’ll instead spend most of their time together in one of their bedrooms, often earning the ire of their roommates.
Another common occurrence is that their friendship turns into a real relationship. Often when friends wind up doing the dirty they either develop feelings for one another, or act upon pre-existing ones. Either way, a random night of passion can quickly turn into heart shaped boxes of chocolates in February.
The last outcome is the very-real possibility that the friendship will end. This can happen for any number of reasons and takes a number of forms.
Sometimes it ends because the previous friends feel awkward around each other. Other times it’s because sex has replaced their friendship and now their only interactions are late night rendezvous. Often it’s because one person developed feelings that aren’t reciprocated.
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