Have you heard that scientists are going to clone George Washington?

Uh, I have not.

Not only are they going to clone him, they’re going to wait a few years, let him grow, and he’s going to take over for Simon Cowell on “”American Idol.””

OK. (laughs)

What do you think of all of this?

I don’t think that’s going to happen.

Why not? I just told you it’s true.

OK. Well, in that case, I think it’s a good thing. Because everyone loves Washington.

What if they cloned George Washington, but they cross-cloned him with a sheep? A sheep with wooden teeth.

Well, I don’t think he’d make it as the American Idol.

He wouldn’t need to be the American Idol. He’d be a judge.

Oh, then I don’t think there’d be as many viewers.

Really? If there was a talking sheep with wooden teeth on “”American Idol,”” you wouldn’t watch?

I never watch the show, anyway. I might watch just to see him once.

I understand, it would look pretty freaky. Here’s a better idea: They should make a horror movie about him. “”Silence of the Lambs 2: Washington’s Revenge.””

(long pause) OK.

So, when you go to see it, will you sit in the audience and say, “”Hey, the girl who created this movie once talked to me for On the Spot.””

No. Nobody would believe me.

Oh, OK. So, you’re just going to sever all of our ties right here? This is it for you and me?

Yes.

— Katie Gault