The BBC this released a documentary about chimpanzees filmed by chimpanzees this week.

Really?

Yeah, what are your thoughts on that?

It sounds a little hectic. Maybe the camera would be shaking everywhere or something, I don’t know.

What do you think they would be filming?

That’s a good question. Monkey activities.

Such as?

Swinging on trees, eating bananas, you know — monkey business. (Laughs)

Do you think they’ll want any royalties or products made from the film?

If it takes off, maybe. Some of those animal films like “”March of the Penguins,”” you know, you saw penguin stuff everywhere, so maybe. But, I guess if it had some success, then I would expect to see some products to make extra revenue from it.

But how can a film like that really go wrong? I mean, you’ve got monkeys filming themselves as themselves.

(Laughs) I have no idea. I have no idea what to expect.

What would you do if you had your own crew of trained film monkeys?

I’d have them follow me around and just film me. (Laughs)

Twenty-four, seven?

Maybe, well, not 24/7, you know, certain activities I don’t want filmed. But it could be fun. It could be funny, too.

What would be edited out?

Sleep time. That would be kind of weird. I don’t think I want monkeys filming me while I’m sleeping. (Laughs) Shower time.

You don’t want them doing a “”Girls Gone Wild””-type shoot?

I don’t know about having naked and monkeys in the same place. (Laughs)

What title would you give this documentary?

“”Me Through the Monkeys’ Eyes,”” “”Monkeys and Me.”” I like “”Monkeys and Me.”” Let’s go with that one. (Laughs)

If you had 1,000 monkeys typing away with an infinite amount of time, what kind of book do you think they would write?

Maybe they’d write a book about observing humans from their perspective. Like, there’s these people we have no idea about and they give us things. (Laughs)

What would be the weirdest thing they would write about people?

Probably the way they look. That’s what I’m going to think. That’s what we talk about with monkeys, “”Oh, look at that monkey.”” Like baboons versus gorillas versus chimpanzees.

Who would you want on your side in a fight?

Gorillas. They’re big, like a silverback gorilla — they’re vicious.

I read somewhere that a 90-pound chimpanzee can take down a 300-pound guy.

Really?

Yeah.

Well, that’s scary. (Laughs)

—Steven Kwan