You were walking to class when you saw him. There he was, right in front of the Social Sciences building, unlocking the glorious vintage road bike that he bought at BICAS. Then he put on his wire rimmed Ray-Bans and rode off into the distance. You knew you had to find a way to coax him into asking you for coffee at the nearest independent coffee shop.
It’s not about what you wear, but what everyone else isn’t wearing, so here’s how:
Headband
Obviously, you should still cherish all of your Grandma’s old scarves. A great way to incorporate them into your wardrobe is to wrap them like a turban style headband. This will give off the impression that you love the unconventional things in life, just like those old vinyl records that you found at Bookmans. What a steal.
Oxfords/Loafers
The trick is to have a pair of oxfords that no one has ever seen, and the best place to start would be a vintage store. You’ll also want to make sure that they have a suitable heel on them, so that when you are walking past your man on his shining fixie steed, he will definitely hear you. Look for something with a solid wood base.
High-Waisted Pants
Any mid-waist to low-rise pants should probably be thrown out of your closet now. High-waisted pants are a great way to show that you are ambitious and daring (girls are usually afraid of the potential camel-toe, but what’s love – or fashion – without a few risks?). They give off the impression that you are fashionable and keep up with current trends.
Sunglasses
To be honest, it’s all about the pseudo-retro sunglasses. Channel your inner Jackie O, and that way when he wears his 1960s skinny tie you guys will really look like a pair.
Rings
There is a story behind every ring you buy. They make perfect conversation pieces, as you can talk about all the awesome flea markets you have been to in the past couple of years and how much the stone means to you. Really, you should always wear as many rings as possible, at all times of the day.
If this works, he might come up to you and share the mix CD he made with songs by James Vincent McMorrow and M. Ward to prove to you that he is the “sensitive type.” If it doesn’t, you should probably go back to wearing neon workout gear.
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