If you could choose to be one of the X-Men, who would you be?

Does Juggernaut count as an X-Man?

Well he was one of the bad guys, but I guess technically yeah, he would be an X-Man.

Well then I would be him. He’s pretty cool.

That’s an odd choice. I mean, he’s just a regular guy. He’s not even really a mutant. He basically became powerful by accident.

Well, who gives a damn! He’s big, no one can stop him. He’s just crazy and all he does is beat the crap out of people.

But what about Colossus? He has metal skin and super strength. Or what about Wolverine? He can regenerate and he’s got the metal blades coming out of his hands.

(Pauses) Those are pretty good powers, yeah. (Pauses) Did you say he has metal skin? Is that really true?

Yup. Colossus is just a straight up gangster like that.

I think I’ll go with the metal-skin guy then, that would be pretty cool.

Let’s flip it around a little bit. What if you had to be a female X-Man, or X-Woman I guess. Who would you pick then?

Easy, I’d be Storm.

Why?

Because I’d be a total bitch to everyone.

(Laughs) OK, if that’s what you want to do, but why her? She just controls the weather. Jean Grey has some mind control powers going on.

But what’s the fun in mind control?

Seriously? Well, for one, if you had mind control powers you could make people do pretty much anything you want.

Well, I would just zap the shit out of people like PSHHEEWWW! (Gestures as if he’s throwing lightning bolts down from the sky) I don’t really give a shit about mind control if I could do that.

Be real with me though man, you’re just saying you want to be Storm because Halle Berry played her in the X-Men movies. You probably just want to get a first-hand look at what’s under her robe, huh?

Yeah, that also helps. (Pretends to open robe) Woooooo!