Letter to the Editor

In response to “Basic morals of chivalry still relevant today” (by Shelby Thomas, Oct. 30)

It is confusing to talk about chivalry and yet open it up with the scenario of who picks up the check, posing the guy as clueless and ungentlemanly. In measuring all with the same ruler, is that to say that the woman is also clueless and ungentlemanly for expecting the guy to pay rather than treating her date?

I agree in not dealing with social interactions as social exchanges, though it can be hard to in a culture and society that promotes “getting yours.” People may not be as “courtly” as they were before, but it might actually just be a product of their surroundings. If one is trying to get to class, with a never-ending to do list expanding with each step one takes, it is unlikely that they will lend themselves to their surroundings. Respect, honor, and pride are important values to uphold and easier to do so if mindful of the moment at hand.

You suggest a modernization and preservation of the positive aspects of chivalry while neglecting underlying tones that can undermine the intent. I am all for forgiving dark pasts, etc., but not to forget. As it was once said, “those who do not know of their past are condemned to repeat it.” Want to modernize and preserve positive aspects of chivalry meanwhile preventing social exchanges? Pay for your date next time.

— Azucena Gonzalez, senior studying psychology and sociology

Online Comments

In response to “Chivalry degrades women, promotes sexism in society” (by David W. Mariotte, Oct. 30)

I appreciate when my husband is chivalrous with me. I like feeling taken care of. Does it mean that I can’t open a door or carry a heavy box? No, not at all… It means that he is a man and needs to feel like a man and I am a woman and enjoy feeling protected and taken care of. Chivalry isn’t for everyone and that is why we are all attracted to different people and live here in the USA where we can choose.

— Shelly Leonard Epperly

I’m sorry, but no. Chivalry is not sexism, chivalry does not affirm man’s superiority. Chivalry is a man’s way of showing a woman that she is worth that extra time to help her out. I don’t hold open doors because women are weak, I hold open doors because sometimes, it helps to take an extra moment to make her feel important.

For example, I was on a date with a girl, and I spent the whole night doing things like going around to the other side of the car to open her door. She was perfectly capable, but such an act is similar to a chauffeur opening the door for his wealthy patron, or a servant opening the carriage for the king.

I realize that in being chivalrous, I treat women differently than I would treat men. But even in today’s overly sensitive society, I don’t see anything wrong with taking a moment to show a woman she is special, even in a medieval way. Just as long as I stick to doors and flowers and stay away from chastity belts, I think I’m okay.

— Jake Rochester

I’m a little shocked by these comments, I really thought yours was the better article. I mean honestly, people, chivalry? Men are not soldiers and women are not weak. There’s nothing wrong with being polite or protecting your loved ones but get real. This isn’t medieval times. We’re ready for a new kind of code, one that involves treating everyone with equal respect. From the sound of it, no one gives a rats ass about being respectful to men, just hell bent on making sure their little lady friends are pandered to and worshiped.

— Wildcat

I also disagree. Regardless of what society would have us believe, men and women are inherently different. Because of this, the relationship and interactions that occur between men and women should be different as well. In some respects I do not treat women the same as I do a fellow man. I choose to show them respect through my actions because of their status as a woman. I am not better than them, nor am I subservient to them. We are equal but I choose to honor them because of the unique positions which we each hold. I do this because my honor demands it. I am a gentleman and as such, will act like one. A woman is a lady from the moment she is born. Her status, wealth, or position in life do not change that.

In my opinion, your views are a big reason why this generation is so morally flawed and corrupt, why the plague of pornography has so fully overtaken our communities that it now leeches into public broadcast programing that out families are subjected to. Our society lacks decency, kindness, and respect for others. Shame on us. We need to start believing in the goodness of the world. We need to start holding ourselves and others to higher standards of moral conduct. A big portion of that begins with how we view the opposite gender.

— William