Walking into any department, grocery or convenience store is all we need to remind us which holiday is next on the calendar. In case you have somehow missed all the red, heart-shaped, love-centered crap everywhere, it’s Valentine’s Day.

I don’t know what’s worse, the endless memes about being Valentine-less or overhearing hearing girls squawking about trivial nonsense like not knowing “what to wear.” I HAVE to get my nails, hair, bikini, eyebrows, makeup done. Blah. Blah. Blah.

I’m going to go splurge on expensive dress or heels or lingerie or underwear to wear only once and forget about it. (Even though homeboy’s end goal is to get you naked anyway!) Yes, ladies. I am talking to you, because this day is specifically marketed to appeal to women.

Starting with obligating men to competitively dump money into all kinds of useless junk to appease you, to prove your “worth” to them. It’s what women have come to expect: Woo me with roses. Wine me and dine me at the fanciest restaurant. Adorn me in diamonds. Perfume. Chocolates. Champagne. Cards. Balloons. Stuffed animals. Gifts. Gifts. Gifts.Dazzle me in exquisite gifts! Translation: The more you buy me, the more you like me.

It’s almost a competition among females as well. Having experienced Valentine’s both as a single and taken lady, I think it is dumb either way.If you’re in a relationship, kind of dating, interested, whatever, it’s like you’re obligated to dish out, or it is like committing some kind of blasphemous atrocity to the concept of love itself.

We are conditioned to believe this early on. It literally starts in elementary school, with all the candy and cards for every classmate. At least back then it was all-inclusive.

LOVE SHOULD BE FREE. I think the best Valentine’s Day gift I ever got was a potted plant and a hike up a mountain to enjoy the view of each other’s faces amidst a vast valley below.

The best kind of present is presence … and it’s free. It is a gift that can and should be given more than any other, yet it is so underappreciated. Put your phone down, and give me your attention. I care not for any stupid invention.

Notes and poems are cool, not so attainable by your average, f*ckboi tool. There is no intrinsic worth in the mainstream “gift” standards. Don’t dare BUY into that pre-packaged propaganda! There is nothing wrong with showing love or affection and occasionally treating your partner to nice things, but the fact that a “love”-driven holiday has evolved into such a mass material-driven consumerist ritual is disgusting.

Refusing to participate in the exchange of presents due to disdain for capitalism is not enough to get you off the hook. Nowadays, Valentine’s has simultaneously evolved into singles awareness day, like being single is something to be ashamed about. I don’t really get it, but the internet only perpetuates this notion even deeper with all of the stupid memes and posts.

To all the people whining about not having a Valentine: There is nothing wrong with wanting love or wanting to be loved. However, AIN’T NOBODY GONNA LOVE YOU THE WAY YOU LOVE YOURSELF. 

Second of all, your perception of yourself or self-worth should literally never be vested in the hands of anyone, much less a significant other, with or without this stupid holiday.

If treating yourself to something nice makes you feel better about being single, do it, but do it for you. Not for Valentine’s Day.All of that chocolate is half off the day after. Go buy yourself a box. Build a bridge, and get over it. LOVE YOU!

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